Is there anything as sexy as a person who knows just what to say? Whose words are always spot on? Who’s definitely not being up themself right now given that they use words for a living? That’s besides the point. The point is: words are important.
So how do they help with love? Why, with well-crafted Tinder bios.
We asked you to give us the lowdown on the best Tinder bios you could come up with, to woo your future love and maybe score a laugh or two in the process. Turns out a whole lot of you are rather impressed with your own wit when it comes to Tinder bios – and some of you are right to be.
We’ve waded through the thick and thin of Tinder bios to see which ones are making a match. Here are the winners – is yours better?
OVERALL WINNER: Amy and her fake food partner
The bio: Would prefer to yell out to a real person instead of a fake boyfriend when my Deliveroo arrives.
The verdict: We’ve all been here. Some days you’re extra hungry and you simply NEED to order yourself approximately three main meals as well as garlic bread and probably a bit of dessert too (treat yo self). But do you want the delivery driver to judge you? No.
James and his giant zucchinis
The verdict: Look, we don’t mean this in a dirty way so get your minds out of the gutter. But these zucchinis? They’re fresh. Succulent even. They look ready to chop up and serve in a dish of ratatouille. A man that can take that kind of care with a zucchini will take that kind of care with your heart.
Chris and his special type of chemistry
The bio: The last time I was someone’s type I was giving blood.
The verdict: It’s a cynical outlook, sure, but it’s got that perfect element of self deprecation that just makes you wanna grab Chris by the lapels and plant a smackeroo (if he’s cool with that, obvs). And we can sympathise – finding someone who’s your type that ALSO thinks that you’re their type? Bloody difficult.
Melissa and her knight in shining armour
The bio: Looking for the Kel Knight to my Kath Day. Seduce me with memes.
The verdict: It’s noice, it’s different, it’s unewesual. All the elements of classic Tinder bios are here: the humour, the pop culture reference and a call to action (marketers know what I’m on about). Melissa isn’t interested in bouquets of flowers and chocolates, folks. All you need to win her heart is a bunch of memes.
Jack and the Disney dream
The bio: Sometimes I like to throw popcorn out of my window, watch the birds gather, and pretend that I’m a Disney princess.
The verdict: This is a real mood. Not only do we all kind of wish we had the pipes of a Disney princess (and spend far too long singing Part of Your World or How Far I’ll Go in the mirror when your housemates aren’t home), we all want our Disney love to sweep us off our feet while a crowd of animals cleans up your house. The dream.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this little experiment, it’s that the ladies seem to be better in the bio game than the fellas – and honestly, I’m not mad at it.
Amy, our champion, has scored herself a tidy $1K towards a swanky dinner (no need for Deliveroo now bb), and the other gems have earned a year of Tinder Gold. Just for being blessed with brill bios. Not bad hey?
Basically what that means is that they’ll have access to a whole bunch of really cool features, like being able to see if someone’s liked them already, setting your location settings wherever you want with Passport, and being able to unswipe left if their pesky fingers have accidentally bailed on someone really cool.
Overall we were pretty impressed with your Tinder bios (though I’m still pretty confident with my old bio, just sayin’ – challenging folks by saying you can eat more pizza than them almost ALWAYS resulted in free pizza, and frankly that’s a win).
Hopefully you’ve got a bit more inspiration – happy swiping folks!Image: iStock / agrobacter