When Prime Minister Scott Morrison addressed the nation on Sunday night, he read out a list of non-essential gatherings which would be banned to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. The list included pubs, clubs, gyms, places of worship, cinemas and… “the trampoline venue”.
Ahh yes, the trampoline venue. That cherished mainstay of every Aussie childhood. Prepare to say goodbye to this bastion of memories, because as of today, we will no longer be able to congregate there.
“There will not be congregating up at the trampoline venue or whatever it happens to be,” the Prime Minister said, with a completely straight face.
No more congregating, guys. At least not at the trampoline venue.
https://twitter.com/Charamber/status/1241698473994403840
Of course, this extremely relatable quip resonated with the ordinary, everyday folk of Twitter.
https://twitter.com/figgled/status/1241670011003027457
https://twitter.com/_AmyGray_/status/1241827210660466688
scott morrison just said that these school holidays won’t be the usual holidays, as children won’t get to congregate at the ‘trampoline venue’ like usual
it’s sad because congregating at the trampoline venue is one of the highlights of childhood
kids love the trampoline venue
— Tom Tanuki (@tom_tanuki) March 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/maxuthink/status/1241682205362905091
https://twitter.com/maxuthink/status/1241681215305875463
Me freaking out about not being able to go to the Trampoline Venue pic.twitter.com/80dYBwyiTD
— May is short for Me Pay (@HarrisonVevo) March 22, 2020
Panic buying! At the trampoline venue
— girbloss (@aislina) March 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/ohhecomin/status/1241705341714235392
I’m confused.
Morrison said we shouldn’t congregate at the #TrampolineVenue but I notice that “trampoline venues” are not on the shut down list.
Can I go for my bounce in the morning or not?#auspol— Ben Davison (@Ben_Davison1) March 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/schnooozle/status/1241710250689826817
https://twitter.com/ToshGreenslade/status/1241669945643003904
For what it’s worth, the Prime Minister’s statement about our beloved trampoline venues actually did clear up a bit of confusion.
Indoor trampoline park Sky Zone has closed down its Sydney and Brisbane, um, “venues” in order to prevent the spread of the coronavirus.
In a statement, the company literally said: “Boy, everything really just keeps happening.”
“The thing is, even people without COVID-19 symptoms can be contagious and the only thing we want to be spreading around our venues is fun. We care about you too much to be putting any of you at risk of anything other than having a good time.”
However, Bounce Inc., which has several “venues” in Melbourne as well as in Adelaide, Perth, Brisbane and the Gold Coast, took a different approach.
While they have not announced a closure just yet, they have implemented stringent hygiene and social distancing measures in order to reduce the risk of spreading the virus. Management could not be reached for further comment.
But regardless of what’s going on at the trampoline venue, you all heard the PM: don’t congregate there! Skedaddle!
