When it comes to hobbies, I consider myself somewhat of a Jack of all trades but master of none. But if that guy named Jack was pretty piss-poor at every trade.

A couple of months of isolation has resulted in me trying my hand at a number of different hobbies, of which I’ve had varying degrees of success. So to save you all the hassle of trying them out for yourself, I’ve decided to rank my iso-hobbies based on how quickly I gave them up.

Knitting:

Knitting isn’t just for your grandma. Or… Maybe it is, but I still gave it a red hot go during isolation and kept it up for a surprising amount of time.

For starters, knitting is super cheap to start (wool costs like $2 at The Reject Shop) and you can teach yourself the basics with a 5-minute YouTube tutorial. This is the perfect hobby to pick up if you have a tendency to waste hours of your life watching Netflix. This keeps your hands busy and prevents you from scrolling through one screen while watching a movie on another. Not to mention, when you’re finished, you’ll have a cute blanket to get you through the winter.

This is one of the few hobbies I’ve managed to keep up during isolation, and I don’t plan on giving it up any time soon. You can call me a grandma all you like because I wont be able to hear you through the warm, handmade beanie I’m wearing.

10/10 have not given up.

Animal Crossing:

Animal Crossing is going to get its own section here because it just hits ~different~ to other video games. Its as if Nintendo knew we were about to enter lockdown and decided to give us Animal Crossing: New Horizons (ACNH) as a little iso treat.

I genuinely do not want to know how many hours of time I’ve dedicated to this stupid game. There are no levels, you just walk around picking fruit and planting flowers but I’ve spend an ungodly amount of time playing it. As we get to the end of isolation, I find myself playing it less (mostly because I’ve been playing other video games), but I still log on every single day without fail.

10/10 haven’t given up.

Video Games:

ACNH isn’t the only game that has ruined my life in isolation. Outside of my Jurassic Park-themed island, I’ve also revisited iconic PS2 games like The Simpsons: Hit & Run and The Simpsons: Road Rage, which both wasted a solid couple of days of my time.

But the real crème de la crème for time wasting is a little game called Hearthstone. It’s a free (fuck yes) mobile/computer game developed by Blizzard (Overwatch/World Of Warcraft). Put simply, it’s a digital card game (kind of like Magic The Gathering, I imagine). It sounds simple and super nerdy but good lord, I am ADDICTED. I’ve even spent real dollars on virtual cards for this game, it is slowly ruining my life and I’m not even mad about it.

I regularly stay up until 2-3am playing this game and I’m not ashamed of it.

9/10 can’t stop won’t stop.

Baking:

Despite being a self-proclaimed Martha Stewart, I recently set my kitchen on fire while making brownies, so you could say iso is going well for my baking abilities. As somebody who eats almost exclusively vegan, I spend a lot of time finding tasty recipes, then veganising the fuck out of them. It’s a great way to waste some time, it gives you delicious food AND calories don’t count if you cook it yourself. This was definitely a pre-iso hobby and one that I’ll take with me post-iso.

6/10 I haven’t given this up, but it’s not as popular in my hobby rotation as other options.

Jersey Shore:

After writing a story about our lord and saviour DJ Pauly D, I fell down a rabbit hole of old Jersey Shore episodes. I’m not quite sure this is considered a “hobby”, but it has sure helped to waste a substantial amount of time in isolation. I managed to watch the first four seasons of this glorious show before I hung up the towel because I simply got *way* too horny for Vinny Guadagnino.

I’ll almost definitely revisit this post-iso, but if you’re planning on binge-watching, please be aware that this will give you some serious FOMO for the pub.

5/10 an excellent, yet slightly horny time waster.

Gardening:

If you’re not living the plant mum/dad life, what the hell are you doing with your life? Not only has gardening helped kill a substantial amount of time during isolation, but it has also helped improve my space and my mood. You get the pleasure and purpose of keeping something alive, you get that ~green~ aesthetic AND you get fresh air, what’s not to love?

It doesn’t waste a tonne of time, but depending on how many plants you’ve got, you can waste a solid 10-15 minutes per day being a doting plant parent. Not to mention, this is a great way to boost your vibes at home.

4/10 haven’t given up, but have run out of space for more plants.

Dancing:

I did a lot of dance as a kid. We’re talking ballet, tap, jazz, hip-hop, the whole shebang. Granted, I haven’t done anything since I finished high school, but I figured it was like riding a bike, right?

After getting maybe a little too high while watching old Britney Spears videos, I decided to teach myself the choreography for Oops… I Did It Again. It was not only a great workout, but it also made me feel like a certified Hot Bitch™ who is ready for her TikTok debut.

Unfortunately, despite setting an alarm at 8am every morning to practice my dance routines, I have to admit that this hobby has failed. I can now bust out the full choreography of Oops… I Did It Again when the club finally reopens post-iso, but I’m not going to become a full-time dancer any time soon.

3/10 gave up but don’t regret it.

Cleaning:

In truly heartbreaking news, I have NOT become the next Marie Kondo in isolation. I’ve attempted to “reorganise my whole apartment” roughly 4-6 times during isolation, which usually results in me emptying the contents of my wardrobe onto my bed, getting distracted by something, then throwing it all back in a pile on my wardrobe floor. I’d give this a 10/10 for time-wasting, a 0/10 for productivity and a 0/10 for fun.

2/10 need to clean my apartment ASAP but will procrastinate until the end of time.

Puzzles:

Okay, okay, I’ll admit it. I haven’t actually done a puzzle yet. But I spent time finding my old puzzle and bringing it out of storage with the intention of wasting some time on it. Honestly, that wasted a decent amount of time on its own, but I imagine you’d get a few hours of enjoyment out of actually doing the puzzle.

While you’re in a puzzle mood, you’ll probably waste a solid amount of time. But unless you’re some sort of weird puzzle enthusiast, you’ll probably be bored shitless after puzzle number 3.

1/10 thought about doing a puzzle at least once.

Pottery:

I’m a sucker for craft supplies and I will drop obscene amounts of money on stuff that I frankly do not need. Naturally, when Pedestrian.TV wrote about a $65 home pottery kit, I punched in my credit card details faster than you could imagine. A few days later, I had 10kg of clay at my front door.

I had really high hopes of becoming a certified pothead who gifts all of my friends handmade bowls and trinket trays, but unfortunately this hobby didn’t stick. This isn’t any fault of the pottery kit itself, but after the initial satisfaction of buying the kit, I literally didn’t even open it. I’ll eventually get around to making some pottery but as it currently stands, I have 10kg of untouched clay in my bedroom.

-1/10 didn’t even open the damn package.

pottery ghost gif