Stepping foot into a work Christmas party is akin to taking part in a very risky game of Russian Roulette – you never truly know when your time could be up. Will you accidentally sip one too many Proseccos and confess your undying love to Craig from finance? Will you black out and, in the process, confront Gina from the social media sector about stealing your blessed Sakatas? Or perhaps you’ll disassociate for an hour and, when you come to, realise that you’ve been verbal diarrhoea-ing about your childhood traumas to a group of people who a) you’ve never spoken to in the office before and b) blatantly don’t give a fuck about said childhood traumas. Either way, the dreaded possibilities are endless.

Whether you’re in recovery mode from your recent work party, or in the midst of mentally prepping for an upcoming one, please find great pleasure (and reassurance) in the following Twitter users’ woeful 2019 office Christmas party stories. Goddamn, I’m experiencing an evil bout of schadenfreude right now.

THE LITERAL STUFF OF NIGHTMARES. JOHN, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?

Bill is me. I am Bill.

Thanks for personally attacking us, Cristina. I feel seen.

There is no right way to approach or converse with an office crush, now, tomorrow or ever.

To be honest, it sounds like a reasonable excuse to me.

This one goes out to all the blessed freelancers of the nation:

In conclusion, may we finish on the age-old question:

NO RAGRETSZzz.

Image: Twitter / @cherokeeclare