Nobody wants to network but much like Facebook and email, it’s a necessary nightmare. As your auntie probably told you repeatedly at Christmas lunches, it’s who you know that matters, not what you know.
Which is pretty depressing. For most of us, networking sits too close for comfort to nepotism or playing teacher’s pet. Talking to someone purely so they’ll remember you down the line feels downright disingenuous, sucking any sense of genuine enjoyment out of a conversation.
If you want to network without needing a hot, soul-cleansing shower afterwards, there are a few simple tricks. We’re not saying every convo is going to be mind-blowing, but it’ll be more bearable. And hey, that’s pretty good.
First up, you have to get out of the mindset that networking is filthy. I mean, it is. Or, at least, it usually is.
But, if you take a step back, you’re literally just talking to people. Which, yeah, is gross if you’re only doing it to get something from someone. So, um, maybe don’t do that?
It’s kind of how you shouldn’t enter a date looking for a life partner. It’s too much pressure. Similarly, you’ll never find a new boss or million-dollar deal by pointedly chatting to someone at an event, so don’t try. So if networking isn’t barging through doors, then what is it?
Essentially you’re not even opening doors so much as you’re pointing out that you could be at a door in the future, maybe. If that’s cool.
Also repeatedly yell this to people, to waiters, to the night sky.
And if you want more than that, then you’re on your own, buddy! Go read some LinkedIn thought-influencer blog on ‘How To Get Ahead In The Business World And Live, Eat And Defecate Success’ or whatever.
Probably the best tip is not to talk about work, or at least, try and not only talk shop. It can come off as a little too careerist and zealous. We’re not going to tell you how to have a conversation, but… just talk normally. Well, maybe less C-bombs. Even if the person you’re talking to is some super-rich CEO, they probably prefer an actual conversation to any suck-up dredge they’ve already had word-vomited up to them 10 times that night.
And yes, there’s a bit of schmoozing, but think of it as the level you’d probably approach talking to a friend’s dad. You’re not going to grovel, but when they start talking about something super boring, you’d probs feign interest.
Having said that, if the chat’s dead in the water, don’t force it. Say it was nice talkin’, then move on out. It’s much better to have seemed nice – if not a tad dull – than have cornered someone into a terrible convo that all sides wanna leave.
If you did have a bonza conversation, one super cute thing to do is send a follow-up email: link an article, video or something about what you talked about. It’s a low-key way of saying, ‘Hi! Remember that time we had a conversation and I was super amazing? You should remember how amazing I am in the future, too.’
Still in desperate need of some more concrete tips? Well, that kind of defeats the whole argument here, but fine. Here are five steadfast rules to go by:
- Remember people’s names by using them three times in the conversation.
- Have business cards at the ready, but hand them out sparingly to not seem over-eager.
- Listen, don’t just talk.
- Recommend/mention talented co-workers and friends. It shows you don’t hog the spotlight and want to help people without self-service.
- Focus on quality of conversations, not quantity.
Image Credit: The Office/NBC
