Friends, today is cause for a time-honoured, tried and true no-fucks-given middle of the week dinner, because Woolies has just gone full turbo with the humble hot roast chook. It’s plonked a whole garlic bread-seasoned roast chicken under the heat lamps in the deli, and Christ on a bike I’m salivating just thinking about it.

Under the warm light of that funny little round hot roast island, these new GB hot chooks are not only seasoned with that classic GB flavour, but they’re also stuffed up the wazoo with buttery, garlicky carbs. I’m not even sure if that’s legal in some parts of the world, but it’s true and real and you can buy one right now if you want.

These garlic bread hot chooks are apparently a bigger bird than you standard run-of-the-mill roast cluckers, which means you can totally make a second (or third) roast chook roll without feeling like a total guts.

woolies hot chook garlic bread stuffed
Me, looking at the chook.

Honestly, I just wanna try that stuffing, and as someone who generally does not like the stuffing, the fact that this one is making me hungry is truly saying something. Hell, I barely even eat meat anymore, and I’d hoof this down like there’s no tomorrow.

Oh, and these bad boys will set you back a very tidy $11.50, which isn’t blowing the budget or chewing up any more cash that you’ll be needing to spend on the appropriate Hot Chook Accompaniments; coleslaw, white bread rolls, that creamy pasta salad, cheese, iceberg lettuce, and whatever else you wanna shove in there.

So go ahead and say a big seeya to whatever you were planning on making for dinner (and lunch tomorrow, as is hot chook tradition), because these tasty birds are available at your local Woolies from right now.

Bong ample teets, my friends.

Image: Supplied