Over the last few years I’ve noticed that a vital part of Aussie tradition of Going To The Pub has quietly disappeared: wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli has slipped off the menu, making way for less-chonky alternatives like shoestring fries with barely-garlic aioli.

Look, I’m not too sure if this is a carb crime that’s only being committed in the inner-city pubs — because I’d imagine there would be riots on the streets if country bowlos took wedges off the menu — but a crime’s a crime and we must restore the balance.

So today I’m proposing that this year, in 2022, we must work to bring wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli back to the menu at ALL pubs, RSLs, bowlos, golf clubs, and anywhere else you can buy a pint and/or schooner of piss.

Close your eyes and picture this with me: you’re sitting at a wooden table in the back beer garden at your fave pub, a crisp cold beer (or cider) sweating in front of you in the late summer heat. The scent of fried potato with a slight herb and spice kick wafts on the breeze and hits your nostrils in just the right way.

A bowl of thick wedges of potato appears in front of you — the perfect balance of crunchy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. Nestled in next to the big bowl of wedges are two small ceramic pots: one piled alarmingly high with firm, white sour cream, and the other filled to an overflowing point with sticky, goopy sweet chilli sauce.

The wedges are fresh and as hot as the sun’s surface, which you’ll promptly forget and have to try and cool down by going “ashavahdashahshsahahava” with a mouth full of searing hot potato.

It’s bliss, it’s perfect and it needs to be the normalised pub snack immediately.

For those who will likely yell at me about wedges never leaving the menu at their local: you have a role in this important pub snack revival. You need to be the one to change the standard table order away from chips to the far superior bowl of wedges. This is your quest, which you have no choice but to accept I’m sorry.

Next time you’re at the pub, you have to be the one to kick things off and order a couple of bowls of wedges for the table along with your drink (or round). It’s all supply and demand, baby. As soon as more of us start ordering wedges the pubs will (hopefully) start upping their stocks, and so the cycle goes on.

Hell, ask pubs without wedges on the menu why they don’t have them, and then make it your mission to get them back on the list. I’m not above bringing my own frozen wedges in to be cooked in the deep fryer, people. I will stoop to any level to make sure I can get a bowl of chonky potato slabs on the table at the pub.

Join me, dear carb comrades. Let’s kick bowls of shoestring fries to the curb and make wedges the go-to this year.

Then we take on the next challenge: making Sweet Chilli Philly cool again, and bringing back trio of dips with soft, chewy chunks of focaccia bread

Image: iStock / Mariha-kitchen