Hold onto your asses, a truly boonta vanilla and Biscoff cake has plonked into the bakery section at Woolies, and this unholy cylinder of yum looks so fucken delicious. The best part is that just about all your mates can have a slice, because this bad boy is totally vegan. Sorry who said vegans only eat healthy? Because mate, this buttercream Biscoff bastard is anything but.

Legit, look at this god damn thing. I definitely want to just buy one and sit on the couch with a movie on and go to town.

The cakes (which are only $8 a pop, by the way) are layered with a vegan buttercream, and then topped of a Biscoff-infused buttercream, drizzled in the Belgian spread, and then topped off with a whole Biscoff biscuit on top. Honestly, what the fuck. That sounds so yum and I would like it to send me into an alternate reality of deliciousness.

Apparently the Woolies bakery team wanted to respect the fact that Biscoff bickies are vegan, and went for a fully vegan cake. That means that instead of butter and eggs in the sponge itself, they’ve used coconut oil and apple puree. Who even knew that you could use apple puree as an egg substitute? Not me. (But I’m sure all my vegan mates have.)

I mean first we had the Biscoff Krispy Kremes, and now we have the Biscoff layer cake. I’m all for this bickie takeover of my life and my guts and you can absolutely put money on me inhaling some of this stacked sponge as soon as I can get my hands on one. Which is soon, because these cakes are available at your local Woolies and select Metro shops right now.

Seriously, if you need me, I’ll bi-scoffing one in the kitchen as soon as is humanly possible. Very about this, hook it to my veins.

Image: Supplied