Look I know it’s a crisp Monday morning and more than a few of us are probably feeling a bit worse for wear but I come bearing great news; I’ve just been told that a cafe in this otherwise-heinous world does a full breakfast in a hollowed-out cob loaf, and maybe there’s hope for humanity still.

At The Barge House in East London, you can go full cobber and get an entire hot breakfast – fried eggs, tomato, bacon and all – inside a specially-made sourdough cob loaf and it’s sent me into a tizzy.

If you know me, you’ll know that I am the undisputed Cob Queen of my friends. I’m the one who will bring a cob loaf to a party, baked to perfection, oozing with about four different types of cheese. Friends will text me ahead of time about whether a Courto Cob will be present at parties, almost as if their attendance is hinged on it. One time (for my own birthday) I made what I called the ‘Surprise Cob’, which had an entire baked camembert in the centre.

So finding out about Breakfast in Bread has me very nearly packing my bags and jumping on a long haul to London, and also equally upset that nobody has alerted me about this until now.

The cafe’s been serving up the Big Carby Breakfasts for the last couple of years, meaning that they’ve got a whole section of the menu dedicated to the edible bowl feeds. Would you just cop a bloody gander at how delicious this all looks?

Sweet mother of god this has made me so utterly hungry, and suddenly my very sad cold peanut butter toast just isn’t quite cutting it. Someone give me that Veggie Boy™ immediately.

So I guess if you happen to find yourself in the UK soon, please do me a solid and go and eat a cob loaf brekkie. Or just send me one in the post. I’m sure it’ll hold up in a padded bag, right?

Regardless, just take a few moments to drool over these cobby brekkies, if you need me I’ll be seriously thinking about how the fuck I can recreate this at home instead of filling it with crap dip.

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Breakfast bread bowls ???? (????: @food_feels)

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Jesus wept.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: BREAKFAST IN BREAD IS IN AUSTRALIA, TOO.

Literally minutes after hitting ‘publish’ on this story, a bread-knowing friend swooped into my mentions on Twitter to let me know that Cob Loaf Brekkys are totally a thing in Australia too.

The Paddock Bakery in Miami on the glorious Gold Coast does the big edible bowl breakfasts, so thank Christ I don’t have to spend all of my money ever on a flight to London.

BRB, going to the Gold Coast right now. Sorry boss I’m calling in sick for the rest of the week, bye.

Image: Instagram / @thebargehouse