Jesus Christ Would You Get A Load Of This Instant Toothache Tim Tam Cob Loaf

Everyone loves a good cob loaf, it cannot be denied. The absolute ingenuity of hollowing out a big bread bowl and then stuffing it with that delicious dip before baking it so everything’s a big, stringy, gooey mess, is second to none. It’s the glue that holds together parties, and I once watched on as a party of gacked out cookers demolished one in ten minutes flat.

[jwplayer DtCSCi2U]

It feels like everyone has their own recipe for the Perfect Cob. Australia is home to a bloody Cob Loaf Festival, for God’s sake. But unfortunately, and it brings me absolutely no joy to tell you this, but we’ve gone too far.

I was okay with the dessert cob in rare cases – maybe a brioche cob (?) or a chocolate cob would work OK on occasion. But a pub over in Perth has created the Tim Tam Cob and it’s just…I’m sorry but it’s crossed a line.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Guildford Hotel (@theguildfordhotel) on

Jesus christ just looking at this makes me teeth hurt.

Me, looking at this….thing.

It’s a regular, run-of-the-mill cob loaf hollowed out and stuffed with chocolate mousse and ganache, and an Oreo crumb, with fairy breaded cob and Tim Tams for dipping. Look, normally I’d be all for experimenting with flavours and textures, but we’re hurtling dangerously close to the “freakshake” territory of the humble cob loaf, and that’s Not A Good Place To Be.

But also give me one, for science.

Apparently the Guildford Hotel is dishing these chocolate monstrosities over the long weekend, so I guess if you feel like eating your entire sugar quota for the year or like, want to maybe give yourself the mother of all stomach aches, be my guest.

But please, consider that you’re doing nothing but encouraging the maniacs of the culinary world into kicking up another unhinged food trend, which we absolutely should have left in the 2010s and we all know it.

This has been a decree by Cobney, the (largely unofficial) Cob Queen and Bread Correspondent.

More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV