If you’ve never been to a party where someone walks in with a delicious dip housed entirely in a hollowed out bread loaf then holy shit you need to get some new friends because mate, you have not lived.

The almighty cob loaf is a cornerstone of a good gathering. I can present this to you as fact because I am the Cob Queen amongst multiple friendship circles and all of the parties I take one of my revered cob loaves to, the party immediately goes from 0 to 100. They call me ‘Cobney’, for Christ’s sake. One time someone else made a cob and they told me they were nervous of what I’d think of it. My #1 masterpiece so far involved a soft cheese. You do the math.

For all of you normal people who love a good cob, then you’ll understand my sheer excitement about the news that Wellington NSW is about to play host to the first (maybe even world’s first?) Cob Loaf Festival, which will crown a ‘world champion’ by the close of the night.

Organiser Andrew Mackay told the Wellington Times he believes that the festival – which is happening on November 22 – has the potential to draw some really bloody good cob recipes out of the shadows. None of this 90 cents dry soup mix and frozen spinach here, folks. These are gunna be some god damn gourmet cobs.

What can be brought to the communal table here? Are we thinking hand-churned cream cheese and sour cream made from the milk of local cows? Will there be organic spinach in a sourdough cob, topped with truffle and imported parmesan? The possibilities, folks, are endless.

My name is Amy and I am winning at adult today #cobloaf #boom #ciderfest

A post shared by Amy (@amyhetherington) on

The most important thing to know is that someone at the judge’s table will probably draw the short straw (not that there is one in a cob-judging job) and have to be the first one to break into that precious bread bowl, potentially getting their hand covered in the heavenly dip that is very likely handed down from a higher being.

Praises be to the cob lords, see ya in Wellington on the 22nd.

Image: Instagram / @kimmy.jiimmel