Fire up the old analog Foxtel decoder on the boxy CRT tele and pour yrself a crisp glass of LA Ice cola. Things are about to get nostalgic as fuck all up in here.
The peak-golden era of Nickelodeon, we’re talkin’ from about 1991 until 1999, 2000-ish, was filled with a litany of animated hits. There was your Doug‘s and your Ren & Stimpy‘s and your Rocko’s Modern Life‘s and whatnot. But chief among them all – particularly if you were a kid who didn’t quite get some of the more ahh… “adult” humour in those shows – was Rugrats.
The animated series that focused on the brave baby Tommy Pickles and his ragtag group of toddler mates premiered in August of 1991 (seriously, holy shit).
Sure, you had the kids intrepid adventures and whatnot. But one constant bound them all together: Reptar. The cuddly, mildly intelligent dinosaur that the kids show their adoration for through endless merchandising.
Among that, were Reptar Bars. The gooey, delicious-looking candy treats that contained chocolate, nuts, caramel, and green stuff that turned the characters’ tongues fluorescent.
Owing to the rule that states any food on an animated show inherently looks incredibly tasty, the appetite for Reptar Bars in the IRL was always high. But it wasn’t until just now that that became a reality.
The glorious, sought-after Reptar Bars have finally roared into the real world, with US nostalgia-shillers FYE putting the badboys into production. For real.
— Delish.com (@DelishDotCom) October 10, 2017
The real bars profess to do the thing they did in the show, which is turn your tongue green, in what can only be a win for everyone.
They're REAL… They are finally coming out with Reptar Bars! THE 90s BABY IN ME IS SHOWING ???? I can't wait to have a permanent green tongue! pic.twitter.com/jJM3X9jr7t
— KB ???? (@Kelcake_) October 11, 2017
The reaction from hungry fans has been, as you’d imagine, fierce and overwhelmingly enthusiastic.
— Isaac (@_iissaacc92) October 11, 2017
Bruh, Reptar Bars are a real thing?!?!?! I'm about to go ham!! pic.twitter.com/Z4E2MfRCID
— Alex Nemo Hanse (@IamthATGreat) October 11, 2017
— ItsPattiWithAnI (@PattiMaribel) October 11, 2017
I'm just trying to get my hands on one of those reptar bars. pic.twitter.com/DeVPTgxYs0
— gαbbγ (@xo_gab_xo) October 11, 2017
— *Brittany* (@xtremeenigma77) October 11, 2017
— Johnny Nacis (@JohnnyNacis) October 11, 2017
Un. Freakin’. Believable.
The bad news for Australian consumers is that FYE is an entirely US-based company. So unless you happen to be swinging by the States in the next little bit you could be shit out of luck.
That said that mightn’t be the worst thing in the world, given the fact that the jury is well and truly in.
Reptar bars do not taste good, just so everyone knows
— Chelsea Griffin (@cegriffin_) October 11, 2017
But hey, when it comes to chasing down previously unattainable chocolates, sometimes a baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do.
Image: Twitter / Johnny Nacis