Yesterday we brought you the story of the Atlanta Braves, whose Major League Baseball ballpark fare for fans has now grown to include entire chickens fried whole and served with slaw and chippies. A fair effort, you might think. A clear winner. No real need to try and top that at all. And yet here we are, 24 hours later, reporting on the Texas Rangers and their own entry into the growing ball park chook wars: A 900 gram, 46 cm chicken tender.
The Rangers monstrosity – aptly enough called a Fowl Pole, get it? – comes served in a heaving great big cardboard box, with the bigg bird resting atop a bed of waffle fries with several sauce options on the side.
— Kari Steele (@karicsteele) March 28, 2019
Good lord look at the size of that tendie. An absolute behemoth. Utterly in awe at the size of the lad.
Now the real question here: Is there some kind of mad Dr Frankenstein-type bloke in the bowels of Globe Life Park maniacally sewing regular chicken tenders together in order to create these horrible monsters? Or does Texas breed the kind of massive chooks that could overthrow society if they ever figured out how to unionise?
Real food for thought there, folks.
The bottom here though, as always, is that the Texas Rangers should absolutely give me the big chook tendie at once.
At once, I say.