Stop whatever the fuck it is you are doing, I need to vent for a bit and you are going to join me on this journey of rage. Someone on the internet has insulted my Nonna, and her Nonna, and her Nonna’s Nonna (caps necessary). In fact, my entire Italian family tree has been slighted, and I am very upset.

Introducing this viral video which has gone absolutely gangbusters on Facebook, from a so-called Josh and his so-called partner Lisa. They sicken me, they do, for the crimes they have committed against my family (insert pinched finger emoji here).

In said viral video, which has over 24M views and over 11K comments, ‘Lisa’ decides to ‘cook’ spaghetti bolognese on her kitchen counter. The more sickening part of the video is that she uses Prego straight from the bottle, but alas, I can’t get ahead of myself here.

Throughout the vid, she smears sauce on her counter, covers it in meatballs and cheese, and then tops it off with pasta, which she calls “noodles”, because she hates Italy, hates Italians and hates me.

All the while her partner in crime echoes her like a parrot. Do you both think this is some kind of sick joke? My Nonna is weeping inconsolably. She fainted at the sight of this video. She only recovered after I put on a sauce and let the scent help her back up.

Please watch this criminal video below, and be disgusted with me.

Ok look, I know very well that this page makes comedy videos, usually involving food, but this has gone too far. Comedy or not, Josh and Lisa have landed themselves on hit lists throughout Calabria. I know a guy…

Here are some of my favourite comments from underneath the video, which were written by Italians who share my rage.

“Italians, beautiful people, incredible cooks,” one comment writes.

“It’s a wonder so many need to find ways to poke fun at us in areas where they lack. She probably can’t boil water. I feel sorry for her and her friend they must’ve had the shits for days.”

Couldn’t agree more.

“Please take a plane and come in my country, Italy, to see how we cook and eat pasta with original Italiano tomato sauce and original Parmigiano Reggiano,” wrote another.

You heard the woman, come in my country and see what real spaghetti is like.

If you need me I’m going to be avoiding my kitchen bench for the rest of the week. Call it a trauma response.