Some things simply should not be. Certain things do not exist yet for a very good reason. There’s a natural order to things, and disrupting that has dire consequences that cannot possibly be foreseen. To that end, Smith’s has gone ahead and done that which should not be done by actually releasing Lamington chips unto the world. They did it. Those crazy sons of bitches, they did it.
After speculation ran rampant over the past handful of days, Smith’s today has confirmed that not only are the Lamington flavoured chips a very real thing, but they’ll be hitting shelves around the country as soon as the calendar ticks over to 2020.
According to a press release issued by Olivia Sutherland, the diabolical so-and-so in charge of Smith’s marketing department, the Lamington chip “combines a sweet, quintessentially Aussie cake with Australia’s favourite potato chip,” and was developed by “breaking down the flavour experience and finding key elements that can be translated to a seasoning.”
As far as its actual flavour goes, those game enough to actually shove one in their gob will find “hints of flavours including chocolate, coconut, cream and butter.” This, we stress here, rests atop your standard crinkle cut potato chip. So it’s chocolate, coconut, cream and butter, and also oil, salt, and potato. All together. In your mouth. At the same dang time. Lovely.
If, somehow, this sounds like your kind of thing, the chips will be available at Woolworths, various independent supermarkets, and select petrol stations across Australia from January 1st.
Mercifully, they’re only around for a limited time. So if all hold hands, mayhaps we can endure this hellish new reality together.