I’m generally a very tolerant person but there are two things that royally shit me up the wall and they are: people who chew with their mouths open, and people who leave a dribble of milk (or juice) in the bottle and put it back in the fridge.

Let’s focus on the latter for now and we’ll deal with the other qualm in a future yarn.

Is anything more frustrating than getting everything ready to make yourself a coffee or a bowl of cereal or something, only to get the nondescript milk out and it’s got a mere piddle left in the carton? I put it to you that no, there is not.

sharehouse milk juice rules
I HATE IT.

It always manages to happen at a time when you can’t just nip down the shops and get a fresh bottle. Late at night when you’re making a tea and you’re in your pyjamas, first thing in the morning when you’re barely functioning and stinging for a coffee (and also in your pyjamas), or when you’re in the middle of cooking and you’re elbows-deep in flour or something equally as inconvenient.

And always, always, when you’re so fucking hungover you can barely move, and all you want is an ice-cold glass of orange juice to gingerly sip on.

What kind of person even pours themselves a glass of OJ or maybe some milk, notices there’s a pissy little bit left in the bottle, shrugs, and puts in back in the fridge? Are you not a person and instead a demon sent from the depths of hell to shit everyone up the wall? Just finish it off, for christ’s sake.

I’d much rather open the door to nothing than the empty promise that there’s enough left to wet the sides of a glass.

It’s just common courtesy, and an unspoken rule of sharehouses, that you just don’t do this. I know I’m guilty as hell of doing it (mostly when I was a kid and largely just to piss off my brother) but as time passed, I learned not to be a total piece of shit.

Just finish it off, alert the house group chat, and buy a new one. It’s very fucking easy.

And don’t even get me started on people who put empty containers back in the fridge or pantry.

Image: NBC / Friends