Right at the start of the cursed, spooky season, Glenlivet released its new way of delivering drams of scotch to your mouth: through edible pods. We literally just got done with telling people to not eat Tide Pods, and now it’s apparently ~cool~ and ~good~ to serve booze in them.
The little pouches of liquid have sent the booze-loving community into a bit of a tizzy, which is fair enough because they are, and I must stress this, fucking absurd.
[jwplayer NQjBCmN6]
The capsules themselves are made from seaweed (with the saltiness of seaweed removed) and come in 23ml serves, which is just under a standard dram of whisky you’d cop in a bar.
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I have to give it to ’em, it’s a pretty genius way of trying to cut down on waste going back to landfill, even if a glass whisky bottle is pretty much entirely recyclable.
What gets me though is that the little Glenlivet pods mean you have to pop them in your mouth in one go, essentially blowing your head off with basically an entire finger of scotch in one hit.
You usually sip at a glass of scotch or a cocktail over a period of time, savouring the flavours and notes, huffing in the vapours, and really letting that liquid delight roll around your mouth, right?
Not with these little bursts of booze. Instead, you chuck one in your gob, bite down, and let the whole near-shot of a Glenlivet scotch cocktail smack you sideways into next Tuesday.
They come in three different varieties at the moment (Citrus, Wood, and Spice) and are only available at London bar Tayēr + Elementary, as part of London Cocktail Week. I’m still genuinely very conflicted over whether I love or hate them.
It’s definitely sent the wider scotch-appreciating community into a bit of a spin though. A bunch of them are traditionalists and prefer to keep their scotch on ice or neat, in a glass, while others find it practically blasphemous that you’d use a single-malt scotch in a cocktail.
Oh and that people are 100% going to put the Glenlivet pods in their anoos and/or vajoot.
Guys I don’t know how to tell you this.
Teens are gonna put these in their butts.
— Sarah York ???? (@thesarahyork) October 5, 2019
somewhere out there, gwyneth paltrow is shoving a glenlivet pod in her vagina
— bring on the dancing horses (@inthefade) October 5, 2019
But you can put it in your butt.
Which is a whole new whisky experience.
— Jarrett Sullivan, The Dapper DM (@JarrettSullivan) October 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/MarylandMudflap/status/1180540288177037312?s=20
My first thought: please don’t think of how many people are going to put these in their butts
My second thought: so many people are gonna put these in their butts
— ???????? Helle ???? MarBOOska???????? (@ellle_em) October 5, 2019
So the Glenlivet pods are for putting in your ass right
— Apex Creditor (@BibleWarrior69) October 5, 2019
everyone went from learning the Glenlivet tide pods existed to talking about sticking them in their ass there was no middle ground
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) October 6, 2019
I give it about two weeks until our first death from someone shoving Glenlivet whiskey pods up their ass.
— Mike Monteiro did not pay for 👉🏽 (@monteiro) October 6, 2019
Please, for the love of all things good and sacred, do not put Glenlivet pods in your butt. Or your vagina. Or anywhere that isn’t your mouth, I guess.