You know what are just great? Bananas. Good source of potassium, delicious as long as you don’t bruise the fuck outta them, generally – good. The Good Fruit. They’ve gotten a bad rap in the past. I for one remember a time in Kindergarten when I was teased for bringing a banana to school.
Well, how times have changed. Apparently, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are BIG BANANA FANS, and I for one am here for this resurgence in banana popularity that is likely to ensue. They are BANANAS for BANANAS. Sucked in, kid in Kindy who talked shit about me. Look at bananas now, huh. LOOK AT ‘EM. They’re fucking royal fruit.
The first evidence of this apparent banana obsession the latest royal couple have was this Instagram post. Now, it’s never been confirmed this was about Harry. But everyone assumes it was.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMQCFwbADob/?taken-by=meghanmarkle
What’s that, you say? That is some bullshit evidence? Oh, ho, ho, ho. You cynical fool. This was, absolutely unofficially, a hint toward the pairs deep, burgeoning adoration for the fruit.
See, now a “source” (god love ’em) has told The Daily Telegraph in the UK that Haz and Meg’s royal wedding cake is gonna be made of banana.
“This will be the first royal wedding cake made from bananas”, they said. So… like a giant banana cake then? Or are we talking literal banana mush? Banana flan? GIVE US MORE, SOURCE.
The source reckons Harry in particular is obsessed with “anything with banana”, which LOL. You’d think it would be truffle or lobster or something ridiculously bougie. But no. Bananas.
There’s further evidence for this. Former royal chef Darren McGrady – who used to cook for Harry and Wills when they were kids – has said in a previous interview with Hello! magazine that Harry “loved banana flan, anything with banana really, banana ice cream”.
Here’s something I didn’t know – William and Kate had a chocolate biscuit cake at their wedding – along with the traditional tiered version. So it’s not like the Queen’s gonna be all “oooooh deary me a BANANA cake oh lordy, the royal tradition is ON FIRE, call the corgis inside Phil, we need to go to the bunker immediately! The end is nigh for the royals!” and shit. It’s 2017, people! Modernity etc.
Now for the global banana shortage that’ll likely ensue this news. GREAT.
