Scrolling through Instagram yesterday while I was horizontal on the couch after a generous serving of Christmas lunch, I came across a post so utterly cursed I didn’t know what to do with myself. Someone had nicked a bunch of prawn heads at their Xmas lunch, hollowed them out just enough to pop them on each finger tip like some kind of oceanic manicure.
Please don’t do this, you’re upsetting your grandmother.
[jwplayer J7CUTXcM]
Consider for a moment, just how yuck it is in general to peel prawns. I’ve managed to get it down to a pretty fine art – pop the head off with a thumbnail, legs and shell off in one move, squeeze the tail off, ignore nephew’s dares to eat the eyes – but how rank is it when there’s a bit of funky gizzards and innards and brains in the top end? Now think about actively putting your fingers into that, all in the name of content.
just got my nails done 💅 pic.twitter.com/JxplUMvmrr
— あみ (；・ω・) (@2MIR4H) December 25, 2019
No, no. Not good at all.
All the muck would immediately get underneath your fingernails, embedding that fishy shit in there for ages. Yucky, no thank.
Imagine, if you will, that you’re idly chewing at your nails while watching tv later on, and you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the flavour of warm prawn taste after your little crustacean claw session at lunch to try and gross out your younger siblings.
Think about that one. Is it worth it? Absolutely not.
Come on, you’re just making your grandfather mutter quietly under his breath as he pours another three fingers of scotch.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B6g90x_AgQm/
I care not for this mani prawni, because it’s not worth it unless you stick to the bit and go for a full prawn mani-pedi. Hell, crush it all up into an exfoliant and do a full body shell scrub.
Go full prawn, baby. It’s what the ocean would have wanted.
Prawn manis, prawnicures, whatever you want to call them, are absolutely the reason why you won’t be allowed back around at Aunt Kathy’s next year for Christmas. She keeps yelling at you to stop fingering your food, and she’s right to do it. Yucko. Just freeze the headies and bin ’em like the rest of us.
