This Chaotic Man On Twitter Scoops His Spread Sideways & Really Puts The Nut In Peanut Butter

Some people really wake every day and choose violence. Like this guy on Twitter who scoops peanut butter sideways, rather than top to bottom. Yeah, I just really want to know, who hurt you?

Look at this hideous excuse for scooping peanut butter. Who does he think he is?

The man behind this insane tweet is US sports journalist Michael Kist, and wow ok, he should really know better…

Obviously everyone on Twitter went bonkers because they agree, scooping like this is actually sociopathic behaviour. I imagine that in the next few years, Psychiatrists will use the peanut butter method to determine whether someone is a sociopath or not.

Scooping top to bottom = normal

Scooping any other way = sociopath

But scooping sideways isn’t even the worst way some people do the ol’ scoop. This one dude literally makes a circle in the middle of his peanut butter, and excuse my dirty mind, but that looks like a makeshift flesh light to me.

There’s something about someone meticulously scooping peanut butter out the jar that really gets up my goat. What if you’re in a rush, surely you wouldn’t have time to do a perfect scoop?

Look, now that we’re on this topic, I may as well talk about another spread issue that really pains me. Crumbs in the spread!!! If you think it’s ok to scoop and then leave your disgusting bread crumbs in the spread (particularly if it’s communal) you’re just as bad as sideways-guy. It’s evil!

What if the crumbs grow mould? What are you going to do about it then? People really need to think before they scoop.

Scoop better, people.