McDonald’s, home of Grimace the tastebud and Ronald the actor out of work, has been missing something incredibly important for the last couple of decades: soup. Come, join me, as I explore the many reasons why Macca’s should serve up a hot bowl of soupy goodness.
Soup. It’s one of those foods that warm the soul. Even the word is sumptuous on the tongue. Soup. Soup. It’s flawless. I could type it all day.
However, soup is something that has been long associated with a lazy day at home. You rug up, maybe conquer a couple of sniffles with some medicine, put on a relaxing movie, and have some soup. Suddenly everything is better.
But, the problem for working girls — women who are out and about town — such as myself is: where can we get some splendid soup to whet our appetites?
The options in Australia are pretty much nonexistent. It’s either make it yourself or spend the rest of your days soup starved.
McSoup has existed in places like the US, Hawaii and Vietnam at some point in time, so why hasn’t it landed in Australia? We need the soup!
As the famous TikTok says, “gorgeous gorgeous girls love soup,” and frankly, the lack of takeaway soup options in this country is not very gorgeous.
And so, I posit a solution: Macca’s McSoup comes to Australia, finally.
— Nemesis crime (@Nemesis_crime) June 6, 2017
I don’t want any other takeaway joint to do soup, because I know that Macca’s will give me the good shit.
Macca’s having soup simultaneously solves the dilemma around lack of soup options, as well as giving the Macca’s menu something perfectly suited for winter that isn’t an apple pie.
I want to feel the golden arches giving me a heated hug every time the temperature drops. I want to spill soup in the front seat of my car as I fail to securely fasten it while I’m in the drive-thru.
This is the life I want to lead, and it revolves around a reality that does not exist. Truly we have been thrust into the worst timeline — one without Macca’s soup.
And it can be any soup, too. Pumpkin, vegetable, cream of corn, mushroom. It doesn’t matter. All soup is good soup, and if I want my takeaway fix, I should be able to get it.
We’re approaching a new year now, we’ve been through some shit. McDonald’s, hear my prayer, and grant us some soup. Spare us a morsel of that sweet, sweet liquid. I’m ready.