The coronavirus pandemic has fucked with just about every aspect of life in Australia, including how we eat. Restaurants are on the ropes, supermarkets have installed item limits to combat panic buying, and at least one foodie celebrity is now daydreaming about sushi sandwiches.
Matt Preston, he of MasterChef fame, last month penned a column for Delicious advocating for the sushi sandwich. In his estimation, slapping nine thinly-sliced sushi rolls between two slices of bread, butter, and Japanese mayo sounds like a bonza idea.
“The extra brilliance is that using small maki means every bite you take of the sandwich has a whole mini roll inside it, for the perfect way to eat a sandwich is in nine grown-up-sized bites, not lots of rat-like nibbles,” he wrote.
While the column passed without too much chaos when it was published, FBi Radio host Maria Dimitrakas yesterday asked if Preston is trying to tell us something.
“Can someone check on Matt Preston???,” she tweeted, quoting a big old chunk of the column.
Can someone check on Matt Preston??? pic.twitter.com/GK52JP6LQY
— thicc queen maria d (@mariaadimii) July 14, 2020
At least Preston had the good sense to acknowledge his creation is “probably a sin against sushi,” and proceeded to rattle off a whole host of no-no’s in the column.
One particular highlight is the ‘mosaic sushi’ of YouTuber Davy Devaux, which Preston labelled a “social-media sensation and the base of a rather questionable sushi-art iceberg”.
It’s unclear whether the sushi sandwich will make an appearance on Preston’s upcoming show Plate Of Origin, but if you’d like to register your deep concerns, feel free to cop the original Delicious column here.Image: @mattscravat / Instagram / Westend61 / Carlos Alvarez / Getty Images