Cast your mind to the fruit bowl. Perhaps there’s a boring apple, a slightly-too-ripe plum, a browning banana and a pithy (not in a good way) orange. These are staple fruit, to be sure. But none of them is the supreme fruit. Look closer. Peer into the bowl. There it is, nestled in a stunning orange jacket, just waiting to be suckled. It is the humble mandarin.
It’s high time we all acknowledged one simple fact. Mandarins are the best fruit.
Before you start your arguments please, have a shred of decorum. There is simply no fruit that compares.
The mandarin is perfect for a range of different reasons. It comes fully encased in a peel, meaning it won’t get squished in your disgusting tote bag. Bruised apples could simply never.
There are a huge range of mandarin sizes available, from the teeny weeny to the positively gargantuan. The ideal picnic accompaniment, you could say.
They are sweet and delicious, juicy enough to be refreshing but not so juicy that they cause a big old mess (peaches, this is targeted at you).
Mandarins are a far less boring choice than an apple or an orange. But they don’t cost an arm and a leg the way strawberries, blueberries and — God forbid — cherries do.
Satisfying my sweet tooth without breaking the bank? Get ’em right on the self-checkout scanner I say.
I have to give a particular shoutout to the Afourer: my personal favourite mandarin. Their stunning vibrant orange peel has inspired many a feature wall Pinterest moodboard, I’m sure.
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Yes, sometimes, the fruit is a fickle lover: a sour, wrinkled, dry mandarin is one of nature’s most disappointing punishments. But the threat of this pain is worth it for the enduring power of the sweet, sweet mandarin.
Of course, when summer comes, some of the more interesting fruits come into season. Your mangos, melons, pineapples and peaches are more glamorous, more sexy.
But none will ever top the mighty mandarin: the perfect fruit to share with friends or scoff solo.