Justin Bieber, or someone who looks phenomenally like him, has sparked an absolutely chaos online thanks to the appearance of a photo which appears to show the superstar munging down on a burrito… sideways.
does….justin bieber not know how… burritos work ? pic.twitter.com/WWKP2ttARe
— ryan bassil (@ryanbassil) October 25, 2018
Yes. Eschewing all conventional logic regarding the consumption of cylindrical wraps, a photo which seems to show the Sorry singer attack a burrito belly-first appeared on Reddit overnight, eliciting the kind of shock and horror you’d expect from such aberrant behaviour.
Credulous Reddit users immediately recognised the act as something Bieber would do, but alternative explanations have emerged. Perhaps he deliberately ate the burrito sideways as a gee-up for the paparazzi, one user speculated. Others have suggested the unorthodox approach is a result of his Canadian upbringing.
But some publications have questioned the veracity of the image itself. Esquire, long known for giving a shit about Bieber’s fits, stated their staff did not recognise nor recall the clothes worn by the person in the photo. They suggest the diner in the image may be someone else entirely.
(Esquire also states the person in the photo appears to have more knee hair than Bieber. Make of that what you will.)
Beyond debate: the fact someone, somewhere, munged into a burrito centre-first.
Datebook, an outlet run under the San Francisco Chronicle umbrella and therefore intimately familiar with the iconic Mission-style burrito, analysed the ways in which Bieber (or Bieber-lite) incorrectly handled the situation.
Their take: by eschewing the foil wrapping, the diner in the photo diminished the burrito’s structural integrity, and likely dropped the fucking thing on the pavement in the moments after the photo was taken.
Coincidentally, Bieber’s manager Scooter Braun also spoke about his client overnight at a charity function, specifically addressing the long-running interest in the muso’s behaviour.
“I hate to break it to people. He is not a secret lizard person,” Braun said.
“He’s a different kind of animal. You guys figure it out.”
If the photo is anything to go by, we’re going to say Bieber is actually some kind of squirrel who has clearly never experienced the sheer joy of a well-made burrito.
