The silly season is enough to drive anyone to drink. And when the inevitably bleary-eyed Saturday and Sunday mornings roll around, the delicious breakfast plates are often too far out of reach. But for the lucky-as-hell residents of Melbourne, the good folks at Huxtaburger not only have your back on the delicious treats front, they’ve also got your hungover back on the first-thing-in-the-morning-essentials front as well.

The leading burgerologists have paired up with Uber Eats to launch a range of breakfast burgers that’ll be exclusively available through the delivery app on weekend mornings between 9am and 3pm.

The menu, which begins on Saturday December 16 (TOMORROW, YOU GUYS), sports four quality-sounding brekkie sangas that manage to pack in all the glorious stuff you need to deliver you from evil inside a convenient burger bun.

There’s bacon and avo and hash browns and egg and all sorts of good stuff contained within the actual burgers. Peep the menu, for pete’s sake:

  • Firstly, the B.A.E., which features bacon, egg, cheese, smoked paprika mayo, and tomato sauce.
  • Then there’s the real fuck-me-right-up meat mountain known as the Lads: A beef patty, bacon, chorizo, egg, cheese, aioli, and tomato sauce.
  • The remarkably good looking Cold Shower should set you right. That’s got bacon, egg, a hash brown, avocado, lettuce, tomato, aioli, and tomato sauce.
  • And for the vegetarians among you, there’s the Herbivore: Hash brown, avo, lettuce, tomato, smoked paprika mayo, and tomato sauce.

The full OG Huxtaburger menu is also available in case you’re straddling the line between breakfast and lunch and have the kind of decision anxiety that usually winds up with you ordering two meals.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL.

Because we’ve all wound up in places the morning after that we might not have planned on being, the breakfast menu has a series of add-ons that’ll help you get your life back in order. We’re not talkin’ chips or a head-sized bowl of mac & cheese (though, y’know, probably chuck one of each in the cart too just to be safe).

No no, we’re talking practical items. Actually practical items like a disposable toothbrush and toothpaste, or chewing gum, or a Powerade, or some orange juice, or even – and we’re not kidding here – an iPhone charger cable.

That’s genius, frankly. A breakfast burg, a box of potato gems, and a way to get back that last 1% of battery that you just used up ordering the feed in the first place.

The menu is only available for a limited time and it’s only being slung up on Saturdays and Sundays. But hey, if it helps you sail through the festive season with flying colours, we reckon get amongst it.

Image: Supplied