Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re in for a bloomin’ hot summer. That’s all manageable if you have yourself a fancy pool or at least a working air-con system (and the money to run it).
What if all you have is a concrete ‘backyard’ and a pedestal fan that officially becomes redundant on days that are over 30 degrees, when it purely moves hot air around your room at a faster pace? TBH – I don’t know about the rest of the country – but if you’re in Sydney there’s a 90% chance a pedestal fan situation is EXACTLY what you’re dealing with.
So what’s a sweaty potato with no obvious way to cool down to do? Don’t suffer in ya jocks, just take my tried and true tips.
1. Get creative with pool alternatives
Were you aware they make ‘adult’ sized blow-up pools? Because they do, and you should get one. Sure, my housemates laughed at me a lot the first time I did this – but then they most definitely kept jumping in so who’s the REAL fool here?
These pools also definitely still work on concrete, so your backyard surface is no issue here. However, there obviously is SOME issue if you’re in an apartment and you have absolutely no yard to speak of.
If you’re in that situation and you have a bathtub, fill ‘er up with cold water and have yourself a mini pool. If you don’t have a bath either, well you’re out of luck and you’d better keep reading.
2. Never stop drinking cold bevvies
When you’re hot on the outside, have something cold inside – I’m sure that’s science. Drinks, mates, we’re talking cold and refreshing iced drinks.
I don’t know about you, but to me, hot drinks in summer seem like a bad idea – but also who wants to give up coffee, the sweet elixir of life? This is basically why iced coffee was invented.
Luckily, Nespresso have seen your needs and raised you an at-home option. They’ve released the limited-edition iced coffee range ‘Taste the Australian Summer’. The best news is, it features two brand spanking new blends (Flat White Over Ice and Long Black Over Ice) that yes, still come in capsules, but are specifically designed to be your iced coffee fix. Three easy steps from brew to ice-cold and you’re good to go! Who needs a barista?
3. Suck up to anyone who has a pool
You may not have a pool yourself, but chances are good you know someone who does. When the Aussie summer hits its earth-scorching, thigh-sweating, seat buckle-branding heights, there is absolutely no shame in doing anything necessary to suck up to the person with a pool in your life.
Your parents insist you mow the lawn first? Get it done. Your mate demands you shout lunch? Bring dessert too. That person you’ve only met a couple of times before but keeps giving you the eye? It’s a legit reason to flirt back whether you’re interested or not, just saying.
4. Set up camp in your closest shopping centre
In some countries, people head to the shopping centre when it’s freezing cold. In Australia, we pack into those air-conditioned havens when the heat won’t quit and we have no other options.
Make sure you pick one with a movie theatre attached too, so when you’ve window shopped as much as you can stand you can buy a movie ticket and kill a few more hours watching whatever new release has seats left.
5. Try the old cooling forehead trick
You know how your mum would come in with a wet washer to lay on your forehead when you had a temperature as a kid? It turns out that’s still a very effective way to lower your body temp.
Except now you can make it more effective by wrapping that towel/washer around ice cubes, instead of just cold water. Sure, it can get a little messy as the ice starts to melt, but you’re desperate to be cool, right? So it’s worth it.
Good luck team, I’m sending you cold thoughts.
