It’s ok. Everything’s ok. It’s going to be ok. Completely ok. Totally ok. Very ok. Super o-HOLY SHIT THE WORLD’S SUPPLY OF CHOCOLATE COULD BE FUCKING GONE WITHIN OUR LIFETIMES JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST.
This is not a drill. This is a real thing that is being suggested. Call all the cops.
It sounds insane, but the truth of the matter is that global warming and climate change is not only affecting how people get about, but what plants we can grow as well.
Worryingly enough, experts are now warning that climate change will severely impact on the world’s ability to grow the precious, chocolate-birthing cacao plants that are vital in the providing of treaties to sweeties.
The cacao plant only really thrives in humid, almost rainforest-ish conditions that are fairly ubiquitous to places close to the equator. The Ivory Coast and Ghana alone produce over half the global supply of cacao plants and their subsequent harvested cocoa beans. But it’s this West African region that’s tipped to be whacked by the more extreme end of the climate change stick, with rising temperatures and droughts being predicted by expert models.
In a worst-case scenario, cacao farmers would be forced to move to higher ground thanks to drier soil, but land further up is extremely limited and protected for wildlife. This would be disastrous for a global supply that’s already under huge strain thanks to a recently-found sweet tooth from consumers in Asia.
One expert believes that in the worst-case scenario, the world will lose its ability to produce a useable crop of quality cacao by as early as 2050.
Christ alive.
Mars has already taken steps to insulate themselves from this clear doomsday scenario by mapping the genetic code of the cacao plant, in the hopes of creating genetically modified hybrids that will be able to withstand the effects of global warming.
But still, it’s a worrying scenario for all concerned. And even the most eternal optimist will probably admit that this particular glass and a half isn’t exactly full.
Prepare.
