A few years ago, I was wandering the cheese aisles of Woolies, or Coles, or IGA – who bloody knows. It’s irrelevant – I was traipsing around looking for the right cheeses to make a solo cheese board (Castello Blue, some form of brie, King Island Dairy Surprise Bay Cheddar) and BAM! These mysterious fruit crackers were artistically displayed next to the fancy shit.

I did a double-take – I’ve never been a fan of fruit-filled savoury things. Like that weird cheese with the apricot bits in it – no fucking thank you. But dammit – these crackers looked good. Real good.

The friend I was with grabbed a box and waved it in my face maniacally. “THESE ARE SO FUCKING GOOD” she exclaimed, telling me her aunt or some other relo got her onto them at a family do.

We bought the pack (OB Finest Cranberry and Pumpkin Seed) and so began a love affair that continues to this day.

I cannot eat cheese without these bloody crackers now. Especially not the really stinky ones, the blue and the washed rind vibes. They MUST be paired with a fruit cracker, and if they aren’t it’s just a sub-par experience. It’s like when you make porridge and realise you ran out of cinnamon sugar. Just disappointing.

I have my preferences – the Cranberry and Pumpkin Seed remain in the #1 spot for me, or if I’m at Woolies I’ll go the Olina’s version, Cranberry and Sunflower Seed.

They’re currently $3.50 which is a bargain considering Coles’ OB Finest cost a hefty $6. But look, if I’m honest, OB Finest are my favourite.

Fact: there is no bad flavour. They also all slightly taste the same, if you don’t have a refined palate.

Bring a pack of these to any soiree (read: bogan bbq) and you’ll be greeted with squeals of delight and people regaling you with tales of how THEY found the elusive snackies.

I think the real weird vibe about these is that they are so damn good, but no one – NOT ONE SHOP – heralded their arrival with a barrage of advertising. They just were there, on the shelves near the cheese, and we all had to work out for ourselves that they existed and were good. This is bloody strange in a world where even the worst brand updates or new products are shoved down our eye sockets for a hundred years until they inevitably die a slow death on the bargain shelf.

Side note: the bargain shelf is a hidden treasure we should all be frequenting. Once I found tampons for like, 50 cents there and we all know tampons are a billion dollars a box.

Anyway that’s really all I had to say, aside from a message for my Mum – why the fuck did you bring these to family lunch, you maniac. These are the devil’s food.

I’ll tell you something for free though, that Pilpel Taramosalata is straight from the heavens. So at least I have that.