A 5 Y.O. Ordered $1200 Of Messina Gelato On Their Dad’s Uber Eats And God I Wish That Were Me

A legendary Sydney child has ordered a whopping $1200 worth of Messina ice cream on their Dad’s credit card, which is also my excuse when I make impulsive online shopping decisions.

According to Messina’s IG stories, the ice-cream loving five-year-old was using their dad’s phone and somehow transitioned from playing Tetris (or whatever the youth play nowadays) to the Uber Eats app.

From there, they ordered $1200 of Messina ice cream. And, in the most iconic turn of events, the Dad didn’t realise any of this had happened until he got a call from the Uber driver, who’d rocked up at his workplace to drop off the haul.

The events also bring me many questions: did the child somehow figure out Touch ID or Face ID? Was this an “accidental” hacking, or the result of a devious, multi-step plan? Or was it a glorious Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs-esque accident of biblical proportions?

My favourite of all of the purchases is the paper bag full of jars of dulce de leche, aka the most delicious of the forbidden midnight snacks.

There were also a number of cakes, as well as Messina candles and bottles of the Messina Jersey Milk to really elevate the standards of your instant coffee.

So yes, this man unwillingly spent $1200 on ice-cream. But, looking on the bright side, that’s his Christmas presents sorted.

Office secret Santa? A jar of dulche de leche and a bottle of milk: together, a delicious meal.

Great Aunt Mildred needs a stocking present? A Messina candle, sorted.

Got a friend who’s been unceremoniously dumped now that cuffing season is over? Here, have an entire Dr Evil’s Magic Mushroom cake. Heal your broken heart.

Apparently, the pics on the Messina Instagram page aren’t even the full haul: there were even more tasty treats which the man left for his colleagues at the fire-station he works at.

This brings me to a crucial question: can you put out fire with an ice-cream cake?

This is a perfect opportunity to get the Mythbusters guys Down Under and investigating.

And look, at the end of the day, who doesn’t want an excuse to eat gelato for breakfast, lunch and dinner? It’s the perfect silly season summer treat. Though maybe it’s also a lesson to put a parental lock on the Uber Eats app.