Remember when, in the midst of everything, Fireball started flogging its delicious warm hoon juice in a cask? Surely that was the ceiling in terms of absolutely chaotic beverage options, right? Well, today a new challenger has approached: a whole keg of Fireball whisky.

Is there anything more perfect for the entrance of 2022, staring down the barrel of a third year knee-deep in the shit, than a whole 5.25 litres of sippy drink that makes you want to ruin your life in two seconds flat? No, there is not.

Dubbed the “FireKeg”, the red-hot literal barrel of burny beveragino has finally landed in Australia with a very limited run of only 1000 available online.

It’ll set you back $349 over on the BoozeBud website from January 12 (that’s today), but if you crunch the numbers it’s essentially under two bucks a shot, with something like around 175 shots of that tummy-tingling cinnamon stuff in it. Burning bang for your buck, I reckon.

Imagine showing up to the next house party (whenever that will be) with one of these over your shoulder. You’d be simultaneously loved and deeply hated at the same time. The life and death of the party, the alpha and omega.

Cast thine eyes upon this devilish drink and weep, and then drink deeply from the cup and talk shit around the glass table out in the backyard. I don’t know what else I can even say about this Fireball keg other than I can feel the heartburn kicking in just looking at it.

Look, it’ll probably be the best-worst decision you make all year, but hey at least you’ll be living deliciously for a while. Better hit up the group chat fast though, because I reckon these will roll themselves out the door much like me at 2am after making a good dent in a Fireball keg.