There comes a time when we simply have let go of our past and grow up. Turns out, that doesn’t apply to what we eat.
If anything, the older we get, the more freedom we have to choose what we shove down our food-chutes. I recently learned this a few years ago when I realised my parents had brainwashed me into thinking that eating breakfast foods after 10am was illegal in Victoria.
But now that the shackles are off and I can think for myself, there’s been nothing in my way to stop me from chowing down on some carby goodness whenever I damn-well please and it’s been a liberating journey.
If you’re still Under His Eye though and struggling to break free from the mentality that you have to refrain from eating cereal as an adult, I’m here to convince you otherwise.
Behold, a foolproof case:
It makes for a perfect late-night snack
I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve spent staring into my empty fridge, trying to manifest food to appear.
The good news is that I usually always have milk sitting in there somewhere, and always have an emergency box of cereal in the pantry, so more often than not, I’ll withhold from the bag of shredded mozzarella and tuck into a bowl of Coco Pops.
Safe to say that the morning-after regret is significantly less prominent after eating cereal than it is after downing half a kilo of cheese.
You don’t get any meat sweats
If you choose to have a bowl of cereal instead of a big hunk of meat in the morning, I can guarantee you won’t reek of pork for the rest of the day.
Not that the smell of pork is bad per se, just that, you know, sweating meat during a work meeting is far from ideal.
Save the meat for dinner, I say. No one will care if you’re meat-sweating the bed at night.
Your mum no longer has the power to guilt you into another carrot
You’re an adult now, your parents don’t get to tell you to do squat (unless they do tell you to do something, in which case, do it immediately as your parents are angels and you don’t deserve them).
But you will find that the older you get, the less people care about what you consume. It’s a blessing and a curse to be honest because sometimes, all I want is for someone to tell me to take the block of butter out of my mouth.
Still eat your fruit and veggies though guys, we’re not barbarians.
There’s no better flavoured milk than cereal milk
Don’t you dare come at me with that bottled chocolate milk or I will karate chop it right out of your blasphemous hands.
I’ll forever choose that lukewarm bowl of milk that’s left after eating cereal until I die.
You can use your bowl of cereal to cry into
I’m not saying that being an adult is always going to be peachy, and sometimes you just need a good cry.
My recommendation? Don’t let those tears go to waste, mix them in with your Coco Pops for a salty variation of your fave choccy treat.
