Fellow Aussies, I don't mean to alarm you, but there's some mass rage bait happening on TikTok — and as a professional hater, I've unfortunately fallen for the trap.
After being chained to my desk, I decided to contribute to my screen time — which already sits at 11 hours a week — by scrolling through the brain-rotting wasteland of TikTok.
But amongst the Off-Campus edits, Anakin Skywalker thirst traps, and occasional rant videos, a bread that looked so familiar caught my eye.
Dot f*cking bread.
You're probably wondering, what the f*cking f*ck is dot bread?
Well, dot bread are supposedly the devil spawn of the viral dot cakes, which are basically cupcakes, but that's a whole other Pandora's box of woop woop.
But to take you to the root of all evil, dot cakes were popularised by mother-daughter team Alex and Sondra Posner, who founded The Dot Cakes in Roslyn, New York.
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The cakes are essentially the sweet goodness fitted into a cup, topped with frosting and coloured hundreds and thousands sprinkles. It's convenient, it's yummy, and it's aesthetically pleasing.
However, as dot cakes hit major virality on the platform, many Aussies noticed that they resembled the country's humble fairy bread: a piece of Australian culinary art, often linked to sun-soaked childhood memories packed with laughter and bright colours.
With dot cakes and fairy bread becoming interlinked, some hilarious galoots decided to take the piss and crack jokes about "inventing" dot bread.
"I invented dot bread. It's actually sooooo good, you have to try it," one user, who posts under @bellsnailclipperr, wrote.
Off the bat, some folks (myself included) took this as serious content, with many calling out the user and schooling them on its true blue roots.
"Um, so this is already invented. It’s called fairy bread, it’s Australian food, not fucking dot bread ya c*nt," one wrote.
"As an Australian, I deserve compensation for watching this," another commented.
"It's fairy bread, you absolute tart. Delete your account now," wrote a third.
While the user didn't specify it was pure satire, or as the internet slang says, 'rage bait', the Aussie flag in their bio indicates they know exactly what they're doing.
TikToker and baker Miss Trixie (@misstrixiedrinkstea) made a similar video, which copped the same kind of treatment from disgruntled Aussies. However, in response to a commenter, she admitted she was "taking the piss".
I'm not gonna lie to you, they almost got me with this one. But thank god, it's NOT real.
