Prepare thine guts and a big glass of plain milk because Domino’s is bringing back that utterly cursed Halloween Pizza Roulette for another year. And after last year’s tummy-searing and ring-stinging situation, the pizzy lords have gone and turned up the heat, haven’t they?
Last year the roulette pizza featured one rogue (1) slice slathered in tongue-tingling Yellow Bhut Jolokia chilli sauce, which clocked in at just over the 1 million mark on the Scoville spice scale. With nowhere to go but up (or perhaps down, to the depths of culinary hell), this year’s Full Chaos Pizza will feature a random slice that’s spiked with Reaper Chilli Sauce. Yep, it’s exactly what you think it is – hot sauce made with Carolina Reaper chillis.
And yes, that is your large intestine quivering under the knowledge that a Carolina Reaper comes in at a truly scorching 2.2 million on the Scoville scale.
I know they say the biggest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing us he doesn’t exist, but surely licking a slice of pizza and putting in the box alongside normal, not-tarnished-with-liquid-death slices has got to be up there.
If I was the unlucky bastard to cop the bulk-chilli slice I feel like I’d immediately be like Homer Simpson with the Guatemala insanity peppers, and my mouth would turn into molten liquid. I’m sure as hell not the pope of chilli town, so please don’t let me ruin my guts with this roulette pizza.
Similar to last year’s roulette pizza – which now seems like child’s play, a tepid pizza for babies, and nothing that old mate from Hot Ones would bat an eyelid at – you can add the possessed piece to any kind of pizza you want from the menu. That means all your vego and vegan mates are not immune to the gut-punch of accidentally chomping down on the devil’s dough slice just because they’re not partial to a meatlovers pizz.
If you’re keen to absolutely fuck up your life for a (quite literal) hot minute, possibly induce a thunderclap headache, and then ruin your life again about eight hours later when you’re trou-down and quietly dying on the dunny, then you’ve got a couple of days to jump on the pizza roulette. These genuinely cursed slices are only available at your local Domino’s from October 25 (that’s today) to the 31st, and it’s totally free to add the gnarly chilli sauce onto to your chosen pizza.
Godspeed and fingers crossed you don’t prank yourself.
