So Ah, Domino’s Is Giving Away 60 Years’ Worth Of Free Pizza To A Literal Baby

Contributor: PEDESTRIAN

Far be it for me to tell anyone what they should name their impending child and for what reason – any reason’s a good one, I guess – but if you happen to be about to pop and are still in need of a name, there are ah… look, there’s certainly worse ways to welcome your new mate into the world than this one: Domino’s Australia is, we absolutely are not kidding, willing to hand over 60 years’ worth of free pizza to any child (and their family) willing to anoint their precious cherub with a specific name. Naturally, there’s a catch to it.

Domino’s is celebrating its 60th birthday this coming Wednesday, December 9th. And as part of that, they’re giving away the borderline-lifetime supply of pizza to a specific new arrival who happens to make his or her debut on the day.

The story goes that the pile of pizza will go to any child born on Wednesday who happens to be named either Dominic or Dominique. Because, y’know, I guess straight-up calling a child “Domino” was a bridge too far even for them.

The winning child, for their efforts of being born on said day and given said name, will be handed six literal decades worth of free pizza. Although the fine print stipulates that that equates to one pizza per month for sixty years. A total prize value of just a shade over $10,000. Still, if someone wanted to give me one free pizza a month, every month, for sixty years, I would… be pretty ok with that.

The parents of said child would have to get in first and prove the veracity of both the child and the name. Some sort of birth certificate is involved in this process but getting that to them is probably a bit lower on the list of immediate post-birth priorities, what with your colostrums and your meconiums and whatnot (two fun things to Google!).

All the terms and conditions and the like for the competition can be found via the Domino’s site.

Best of luck to you all your extremely cheesy looming arrivals.