It’s officially Christmas Eve, and that means that it’s time to bask in the tacky, tacky glory of festive food.
But nothing, and I mean *nothing* warms my cold, dead heart quite like the bogan chips and dip Christmas tree from Taste.
“What more could you want for Christmas than cheese and bacon dip covered in mini Chicken Crimpy Shapes and all shaped like a tree? Talk about a showstopper,” the website reads.
I mean it when I say, this is really the creme-de-la-creme of tacky Christmas foods, complete with a star made of bacon. ICONIC. We love her.
The base of the tree is just a big fuck off mound of dip, with a box of Chicken Crimpys chucked in the side to mimic tree branches. Then, instead of decorating with baubles and tinsel, Taste has chucked some chives and bacon bits all over it before drizzling it all in maple syrup.
But let’s be real here, it’s the bacon star for me.
The recipe is really simple, you basically just combine all of the ingredients into a tasty dip, then give us your best Ghost impression, but instead of clay it’s a big pile of cream cheese.
After you’ve perfected and chilled your cheese mound, it’s time to decorate with a whole box of Chicken Crimpys, and of course, the blessed bacon star.
But despite looking stupidly easy, it appears the Crimpymas Tree is actually pretty hard to make. Or maybe this person just brings a new meaning to the phrase “shit cook.”
Here, take a gander at it.
You won’t even need Christmas lunch after devouring this dish, that includes a whopping 1kg of cream cheese, half a kilo of bacon and a whole box of Chicken Crimpys. This tree is a one-way ticket straight to Food Coma Town, population: you.
Honestly, this bogan-ass recipe has sparked a culinary fire deep in my veins. Why stop at just a savoury tree? Why not try your hand at a dessert-themed dip tree? Por que no los dos?
GIVE ME ALL THE DIP TREES.
This iconic dish is either going to make you the star of Christmas lunch, or the weird bogan uncle who doesn’t know how to cook and still sits at the kids table. But either way, this dish will show you how your family really feels about you.
If you’re game to try to outshine the abomination shown above, you can find the full recipe on Taste here.