In a food-related event nobody had on their 2022 bingo card, Coles chicken donuts have appeared in the frozen food aisle. That’s right folks, for the low low price of $7.50 a pack, you too can be the owner of this fine new set of circular fried bird bits.

Posted to the r/Australia subreddit on Saturday morning, the new Coles snack boldly masquerading as a main meal had some people excited, many shocked and others intrigued.

Coles scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. from australia

The Redditor who published the pic captioned it: “Coles scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should”. That’s the closest thing to poetry I’ve encountered in the r/australia sub.

The comments section is a healthy mix of genuine concern for people’s tastebuds and hypothesising about how these Coles chicken donuts were made.

There’s also a healthy discussion about shrinkflation. “What is shrinkflation” I hear you ask?

Shrinkflation is a process by which manufacturers quietly reduce the size of products while prices remain the same or sometimes increase.

We’re not alleging this is what’s occurred at Coles, but some Redditors believe the chicken donuts are essentially nuggets with a hole in them.

Well, I suppose anything donut-shaped is just a nugget with a hole in it if you think hard enough about it…

This isn’t the first time we’ve been exposed to chicken-related food witchcraft over the past few months.

In June, a TikToker made a pizza base from canned chicken and we’re all still emotionally recovering from it.

In other heart-breaking foodie news, we then found out that those insanely juicy oranges on our TikTok FYPs aren’t oranges at all.

Nothing is sacred anymore. Everything is a lie.

But never fear! Just when we thought things couldn’t get worse, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Earlier this week, Maccas announced it’d be selling a crème brulée mcflurry and we all crème brulée’d our jeans.

Image: Reddit @Bourkster & Chicken Run