While we’re all collectively wetting ourselves over the return of the cult-fave block of sweet, sweet Caramilk chocolate, a challenger has appeared, like a caramel-flavoured rogue in the night. A keen eye has spotted a tub of a truly game-changing Caramilk Philly cream cheese. Sweet Jesus Mary and Joseph, this is big.

The lovechild of the fought-over Caramilk choc and the cream cheese has landed on shelves in Woolies around the traps, sending lovers of the choc and the creamy chez into a damn tizzy. Hell, even I want to try it. Imagine that shit schmeared on a toasted blueberry bagel, or whipped into a perfect cheesecake.

Jesus this is a blessed image, thank you for these sacred treasures.

I wish to acquire several of this heaven-in-a-tub and either eat it all with a spoon or make some kind of fucked-up Caramilk Philly dessert cob loaf. Can you even get brioche buns big enough to turn into a cob? My heart is racing and my mind is buzzing with ideas of what I can do with this frankly insane thing.

What about if you get the Caramilk Philly cream cheese, melt it down, and then turn it into a fondue where you dip the Caramilk choccy INTO it. I’ve dreamt up a god-damned monster here, friends.

caramilk philly cream cheese
me, thinking of all the fucked-up things I can do with this caramel cream cheese

Much like the return of the choccy blocks, the Caramilk Philly cream cheese is a limited edition treat, and is going for $4 a pop over at your local Woolies. You’re welcome.

Image: Instagram / @rachael_jane