Boost Juice has introduced their brand new smoothie, the Pineapple Coriander Twist, thus proving that there truly is no God.
Mixing the sweet, sweet glory of pineapple with the hellish herbaceousness of coriander, the new Boost drink turned heads the second the company announced it, but let’s be real, they knew it would.
In fact, they were so sure of controversy, that they simultaneously launched a website titled I Love Coriander. On it, you can peruse a series of coriander memes, and also tell the people at Boost whether you love or hate the herb.
“This website was made by Boost to celebrate herb royalty,” reads the homepage.
“Coriander is the Michael Jordan of herbs. The ‘Chef’s Kiss’ was invented because words couldn’t describe just how amazing Coriander tastes. If Coriander had a sound, it would sound like the crisp ripping of fresh velcro.”
No one has any idea as to why Boost has gone on this coriander campaign, but it’s good that they feel so passionately about something I guess.
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Pining for a Boost? ???? Because we’ve got something to twist and shout about! ???? Today only enjoy any of our Pineapple With a Twist range for only $5.50. That’s our Pineapple Coriander Twist, Pineapple Lychee Crush or Pineapple Raspberry Jive ???? T&Cs: $5.50 Pineapple with a Twist Smoothies offer valid at all Boost Juice stores on 23rd September, 2020. Offer available in store or via the Boost app. Not valid with any other offer. For full ingredients and nutritional information refer to boostjuice.com.au
The smoothie was launched alongside two other flavours, which sound a whole lot less contentious. Pineapple Lychee Crush (fuck yes) and Pineapple Raspberry Jive are the two new flavours hitting stores for only $5.50, and promise a real good time.
Boost Juice has also created a Facebook post that promises they will respond to every complaint and compliment on their new green-as-hell website, which starts off with the brilliant “hate coriander? you can suck it.”
Get it? Suck it? Cause it’s a smoothie? Alright, I’ll show myself out.
“If you’re in the ‘I Hate Coriander’ crowd and want to have a whinge about our newest Smoothie, we bought the domain www.ilovecoriander.org so you can tell us how you really feel,” the post reads.
“I can’t say we’ll listen, but we will respond to EVERYONE. Oh, and if you love coriander, email us and you’ll also get a little something… probably a nicer response too.”
That winky face emoji puts me in a weird position, so I guess I like coriander now?
Kudos to the brains behind this bonkers smoothie. Someone out there is clearly fighting for coriander rights, and I for one respect that. It could never be me, but I respect it dammit.Image: Boost Juice / I Love Coriander