There are embarrassing gaps in everyone’s knowledge. Some people coast through to their adult lives without learning that pork and pig are the same thing. Or that unicorns aren’t real animals. Or, if you’re BBC business journalist Dougal Shaw, that making your own sandwiches is cheaper than buying them.
For British Sandwich Week (apparently a thing), middle-aged adult Dougal decided to make his own sandwiches each day for a week on his lunch break. Due to his journalistic integrity, he documented his bold experiment in a two-minute video called “A cheaper, tastier way to eat lunch at work?”
The video begins with the words “MY LUNCH HACK” over five very depressing photos of ham and cheese sandwiches. All ham and cheese! Why?
It’s all very reminiscent of an eight-year old’s assignment. But the kind of assignment that the teacher has to pull the kid aside for to remind them again that if they don’t stop submitting things about ham and cheese, they’ll have to repeat year three.
A late-capitalist rendition of Frankenstein.
Instead of buying sandwich, Dougal – which, by the by, is the perfect name for someone who has never made a sandwich – goes and buys the ingredients each day so they’re super fresh. But he does decide to go without butter as it’s “too bulky” to carry, which means these sandwiches are incredibly dry and even sadder than they look.
Why is the cheese so lopsided? Why did he use a plastic knife? Why is this so, so sad?
Laugh all you want, but Dougal saved a chunk of coin. He reckons he normally spends £17.50 ($30.48 AUD) on his weekly lunch, but this ingenious method cut it down to £9.50 ($16.50 AUD). That means he can buy an extra Friday pint or two to wash away the memory of another incredibly depressing week at work.
One day, tomatoes were cheap so he added them in, but somehow it looks even bleaker.
I think it’s the apple and the green tomato juice on the side. They weren’t even ripe.
This has to be a joke. In the video, Dougal mentions that Brits spend more than £7.8 billion (more than $1 trillion AUD) on sandwiches a year, so it’s likely some sort of meta commentary on how stupid that is?
Either way, Dougal keeps playing it straight on Twitter, where, of course, he is getting obliterated.
— David (@stairwars) May 14, 2017
@Giomosby Counter reading: It’s an example of a worker taking over means of production from a corporation
— Dougal Shaw (@dougalshawBBC) May 16, 2017
Given The NYT were recently roasted over an article called “How To Cut An Avocado Without Cutting Yourself“, perhaps journalists just know nothing about food?
Alternatively, you can read the whole thing as a spiritual sequel to American Beauty, a journey of one Brit expanding his small, small world and discovering both himself and how there’s just. so. much. beauty. in. the. world.
Warms your heart, really. Watch it here.