ANZAC Day is upon us, and that means Anzac biscuits are a rite of passage in an Australian kitchen. Unless you hate them, in which case – what about a pound of butter, oats and golden syrup doesn’t appeal to you?

Of course, over time us Aussies have come up with batshit alternatives to the humble bickie.

Now, I’m not saying these desserts are gross. Absolutely not – most of them are making me drool. I just think fundamentally, why did we need to invent them. They are chaos. They alarm me, for the most part.

But I also love them deeply within my soul. Hook all of this shit to my veins, fam.

1. The “Best” ANZAC Biscuit Recipe Of All Time

Credit: Australian Women’s Weekly

This one is from The Women’s Weekly, and I consider them to be the most knowledgeable people in Australia when it comes to Aussie cooking. The team HAS to be made up entirely of CWA members, surely.

Anyway, they reckon this is the best ever ANZAC biscuit recipe, and I am just gonna blindly believe them.

2. ANZAC Brownies

Credit: Kidspot

This one from Kidspot (also must be all CWA members, I’ve decided) SOUNDS really insane, but in reality is more of a slice – it’s kind of a brownie on top of crumbled ANZAC biscuit. A real vibe.

3. ANZAC Pudding

Credit: Best Recipes

This one is from Australia’s Best Recipes, and seems to just be a softer version of an ANZAC cookie with a syrup on top. Seems like something you’d eat the entirety of when high, tbh.

4. ANZAC Bliss Balls

Credit: Taste.com.au

Sorry, but bliss balls are the WORST. Why would anyone want to turn a delicious ANZAC biscuit into a fucking bliss ball? Don’t make this. The person who makes this thinks posting every morning about their run is appropriate IG content.

5. ANZAC Tiramisu Trifles

Credit: Taste.com.au

Another one from Taste, except eons better! This is what I’m talking about, baby!! Absolute CHAOS, mixing tiramisu with ANZAC biscuits and yet I am so entirely here for it?

6. ANZAC Biscuits With Golden Syrup Buttercream

Credit: Taste.com.au

What if ANZAC biscuit but with additional pounds of sugar liquid?

7. Lemon And Honey ANZAC Tart

Credit: Delicious

WOOF. Is this a vibe or what? There are plenty of genius recipes involving crushed ANZAC biscuits as a cake base, but this one from Delicious is one of the greats.

8. ANZAC Hotcakes

Credit: Delicious

They sort of lost me here, Delicious did. I just don’t think I need my hotcakes improved with ANZAC flavours. But it also involves a recipe for coconut icecream, which sounds great.

9. Valli Little’s Easy ANZAC Bread

Credit: Delicious

Valli Little is like, hot shit in the food editor business. She’s a god. Her name gets put before her recipes, that’s how god-tier she is.

While I think it’s a bit rich to call this “ANZAC bread” considering the only connection seems to be a few ingredients both the biscuits, and this bread, have in common… you just don’t come for Valli Little. I just don’t think it’s wise. I feel I can hear the sound of her angrily julienning some vegetables imagining they’re my limbs right now.

10. ANZAC Biscuits With Hokey Pokey

Credit: SBS.com.au

Holy mother of god. This shouldn’t even be legal? It’s far too, for lack of a better word cos I hate this word, MOORISH.

I can feel my teeth falling out and I haven’t even taken a bite yet.

11. Apple And Custard ANZAC Crumble

Credit: Best Recipes

Okay this is a mood. It seems annoying to make ANZAC biscuits AND the custard apple bit, but also what the fuck else are you doing today, eh? Got a bit of Netflix to get through? Making a long journey from your bed to the fridge? Pffft.

12. Tabasco ANZAC Biscuits

Credit: Best Recipes

What the FUCK is going on here. There are ungodly SULTANAS involved. We’ve added Tabasco sauce, which I love but has no place in an ANZAC biscuit recipe. They don’t even look cute. Fuck.

13. Caramilk ANZAC Cheesecake

Credit: Taste.com.au

We’ve made it. The most insane ANZAC biscuit-adjacent recipe in existence. A combination of Caramilk (good) ANZAC biscuits (good) and random honeycomb shit on top (excellent). Top job, great work.