So Zac Efron was in Bondi earlier this week to 1) Partake in a hokey Oakley Sunglasses publicity stunt 2) Learn to surf with Layne Beachley and 3) Impregnate half of Sydney's teenage female population via sexy eyes. To everyone's disappointment, especially the eyewear brand that shelled $200,000 for meme-worthy Efron surfing footage, the heartthrob didn't end up catching any waves because a miniature hurricane passed through Bondi at the exact moment he entered the water. But as Meatloaf once said, when it comes to falling one short of accomplishing three really specific things - I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

If you don't know who Zac Efron is - stop with the internal lies you're doing yourself a disservice. If you actually don't know who Zac Efron is - he's an actor/singer of the Disney ilk who loans his abdominal muscles to Third World children for the purposes of washing their clothes. He exudes the purity of a Jonas Brothers chastity belt and the man-meat exploitation of Taylor Lautner. He is a human venn diagram of qualities teenage girls covet like dreamy eyes, respect for females and a starring role in a Disney Channel Original movie. As you can imagine, when Efron made his way to Bondi Beach earlier this week he was flanked by a sea of screaming girls and photographers. Here are some photos to illustrate how popular you'll never be.



The pains of being pure A+ heartthrob.



Lifeguard? More like Wifeguard right guys? High fives anyone?



Dollar sign in eyes > Oakley polarized lens



Through countless hours of mirror-training, Efron has deduced that the optimal gun-bulge stance is arms crossed over the chest.