Let's stroll down the red carpet with Hollywood's finest at the 2012 Golden Globe Awards!

Elle MacPherson is called 'The Body' because holy shit look at her. She is wearing a questionable tulle-ensconced Zac Posen confection that resembles a shower puff covered in a shower curtain. It's the type of frock usually reserved for starlets between the 18-24 age bracket. She's 47. No wonder she's grinning.


Kelly Osborne is on the red carpet live-tweeting up a storm. Her structured Zac Posen dress is a good choice for her - the hourglass silhouette, the unusual shade of blue... it's a strong, chic look. Even though the darts in the bodice could take an eye out, that's what you would deserve for trying to rub your cornea on Kelly Osborne's breasts.


Zooey Deschanel is flawless for sure (look at that close up shot!) and her choice of a slinky, embellished Prada with its dramatic back is an interesting choice. Sadly she does the dress a major disservice with a terrible choice of hairstyle. A sleek, basic up do and a smoky eye would have been so sophisticated and sexy. I wish she would take a break from the whole 'cute and quirky' schtick.


Sarah Michelle Gellar is wearing a divisive tie-dyed Monique Lhuillier from Spring 2012. One of the girls in the Pedestrian office said "What the hell is Sarah Michelle Gellar wearing at the Golden Globes?" to which someone else responded "What the hell is Sarah Michelle Gellar doing at the Golden Globes?" I'm a little torn... I think Buffy is awesome, but she looks like she's wearing a prop from a menstrual product's television commercial.


Angelina Jolie looks amazing in Atelier Versace. It's that heady combination of exquisite beauty and the ability to kill a man with one stare. Brad looks pretty too.


Claire Danes plays it relatively safe in monochrome J. Mendel with a peek-a-boo back.


Charlize Theron has been dressed by her default red carpet choice, Dior couture, for this leggy number in floaty pink silk. Looking as she does, it's physically impossible for her to look bad, it would have been cool for her to bother putting a touch of lip gloss on though. The sparkly diamond headband is a little suss too - that look works better on actual Young Adults.


Michelle Williams is wearing a very pretty - but a little boring - velvet Jason Wu dress. She's also experimenting with the questionable headband trend with Busy Phillips.


Rooney Mara looks absolutely stunning in an exquisite Nina Ricci creation. It's hard to get a good feel for just how gorgeous the dress is in two photographs, but this is how you do black on the red carpet.


Madonna knows how to do boob shelf like a champ. I once did basket-weaving in grade three for a holiday-associated craft project. It turned out exactly like Madonna's skirt. But it's Madonna you guys! And she's totally biting the style of herself in the mid-Eighties. The buff elderly filmmaker seems to have adapted a proper British accent too.


Ewan McGregor is a 40-year-old Scottish actor, but we prefer to think of him as a beautiful, ageless sex robot.


Madeleine Stowe, Nicole Kidman and Julianne Moore are evidence of that whole 'over 40 and fabulous' thing that Famous magazine has been talking about for all these years.


Getting Wiigy with it.


Jessica Biel is beautiful and this nude lace creation (designer?) is great on her... But it felt a little 'deja vu' to me. Then it hit me:

(That's Leighton Meester in Burberry Prorsum look at last year's Globes)

Natalie Portman makes her post-baby return to the red carpet in a strapless fuchsia gown by Lanvin. Very mature. Also wearing Lanvin is Emma Stone, who's added a touch of gothic-style cool with the chunky silver belt buckle. She looks like a tasty glass of shiraz.


And speaking of shiraz... Oh Tina.


It doesn't really matter that Tina Fey can't really dress. She's Tina fucking Fey and an awesome human being. Case in point: this well-timed photo bomb, just as Amy Poehler's name was read out as a nominee for Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series - Comedy Or Musical.



Thoughts? Favourites?