Remembering The Absolute Monstrosity That Was MSN MeSsEnGeR
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Just like Facebook, Instagram and whatnot today, everyone who was anyone was on MSN in the early 00s. Not being part of the cult trend was like being in the Mathletes at North Shore High: social suicide.
Walking round school with a sheet of paper collecting everyone's msn addys.— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) April 8, 2013
Whether you were more of a Bytchy_Babe or SurferBoy_69, once added into the online realm of connectedness you stepped into virtual hell on earth. And looking at our lives now and how we operate, it's something that has shaped our interactions from then on in.
Basically, the very same behavioural actions we've been so comfortable blaming Facebook for.
Why have so many of us turned a blind eye to how MSN really screwed us up in the long run? It shut up shop for good a couple of years back, so like most things that die or that we reflect on, we tend to look at the device as anything but the true monstrosity it really was.
Think of it of like Big Brother. No one actually liked that show while it was on (or the last few instalments anyway) but now that it's gone we're all, "Omg how good was that show" and "Where are they now?" You shouldn't pretend you liked something just because it's over. Did your last terminated relationship teach you nothing?
I could be wrong though. Maybe there was actually lots to like about MSN. It did teach us a lot of life skills, really, including but not limited to, subtext through emo lyrics as usernames. °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸ I'm SoRrY I CaN'T Be PeRfEcT °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸
Some other learnings?
It taught us how to tune the babes and how to cope with rejection.
"will you go out with me xxxx"— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) March 25, 2013
"soz that was my friend"
It taught us savagery.
Asking your friend if someone else was online to check if they had blocked you.— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) January 16, 2015
It taught us how to talk about our ~feelings~ but avoid them IRL.
'msn me when u get home ok we need to talk about something'— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) April 16, 2013
It taught us impatience....
Nudging someone if they took longer than a minute to reply.— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) April 4, 2013
... And that good things come to those who wait.
Knowing something serious was about to be said when you saw the other person was typing for a long time.— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) February 26, 2014
It taught us how to multitask.
Print screening the convo and sending it over to your friend so they could ‘interpret’ it.— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) April 26, 2013
It taught us the meaning of true friendship. (We thought MySpace's Top 8 was bad.)
The drama and betrayal when someone had copied your font type and colour on msn.— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) March 20, 2013
It taught us how to be noticed.
Starting your MSN screen name with a symbol so that you were at the top of everyone’s contact list.— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) May 8, 2013
Signing in and out of MSN to attract the attention of your crush. #MSNmemories— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) January 13, 2015
And how to be stealth.
Whenever your parents came into your room when you were on MSN:— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) January 27, 2014
But more than anything, it taught us how to live our lives through something other than, you know, our lives. We hear all this hoo-ha on the daily about how we're all living through our devices and need to stop and enjoy our surroundings, and thinking back, it was MSN when this behavioural change really took shape.
This was a time before Facebook - heck, before MySpace even - and it was creeping into our lives at the same times we'd chew up our $30 credit on our new Playboy-covered 3315s. It was rare to elaborate within our given chat windows at recess or lunch - we were more inclined to continue where we left off the following night. What wasn't rare, however, was to be asked out or tactlessly broken up with (romantically or platonically) via a MSN chat. And we wonder why dating in the digital age is so hard (but look, that's a story for another platform, probably Cosmo).
It was a breeding ground for bitching, ditching and consequent avoiding.
It was also really flipping addictive - and the first instance of "staying connected" we were really hooked on. We were on that thing every bloody night. Doesn't seem like much compared to how often we stay digitally connected these days, but in terms of huge chunks of our teenage years, it was a biggie and definitely started a trend.
If you reckon MSN has cooked up your own distaste for human interaction, you can use Medibank's new bot to find out about Health Insurance without having to actually, you know, pick up the phone and talk to someone. That being said, the person on the other end doesn't feel like a sterile computer device, and has a weird way of making you feel like they're one of us with its personified lingo (seriously, go on and ask them why the fuck you need health insurance). It's worth a go for that experience alone. Check it HERE.
In the meanwhile, get your ears around this. Nostalgia ensues.