Ugly Christmas jumpers exist because it's practically impossible to produce a Christmas jumper that isn't the sartorial equivalent of eggnog-induced spew. We like 'em ugly! The uglier, the better. They're also a great way to demonstrate how ~fun~ and ~zany~ you are to your colleagues / friends / family. They're a tradition, and we all just have to make peace with that.

What is not okay, in no way whatsoever, is this utter monstrosity from Swarovski.

The crystal producer teamed up with ugly seasonal sweater proprietor Tipsy Elves (ugh) to create the world's most expensive ugly Christmas jumper: a $US30,000 ($40,428) eyesore that features Santa riding a unicorn, and would probably scratch the living shit out of your skin if you wore it for longer than a second.



The jumper is made from 24,274 individually placed Swarovski crystals and took 52 hours to make.

Obviously there's only one of them – it's being marketed as a collectors item – and I will personally deck whoever decides to buy it.

Of course, the ultimate goal of this jumper was simply to generate coverage of and drive traffic to Tipsy Elves, so job done, I suppose. Swarovski also made four, significantly less uncomfortable / expensive jumpers with the company, if you want your Chrissy jumpers to come with just one or two crystals and a price tag of $US139 ($187).

TBH, all of them can get fucked except this one of the dog.


Photos: Tipsy Elves.