Look, it's bad enough that we have to deal with the lockout laws, but it's also unbelievably embarrassing that people from other countries have to know about them, let alone celebrities - let alone cool celebrities.

I don't want to have to think that Hannibal Buress thinks of Australia as the country where he had a hard time partying, instead of the country where everyone is perpetually sunburnt and mildly racist. Ok, not that either. But something good, at least.

But, here we are, in the reality where comedian, actor and man of my dreams Hannibal Buress had to deal with our shitty laws. On the upside though, he's already made a solid routine out of it that will play pretty well in exactly one city.

Tonight at his absolutely A+ show at Sydney's Enmore Theatre he spent a fair bit of time perplexed at the bizarre treatment he got from a bouncer when he tried to go to a club while in town:

"There was a security guard, he was talking with a friend, then we walked up and I could see - it was like an actor getting into character - his whole vibe just switched into being a security guard. I've been in nightlife for 14 years, he asked me some shit I've never heard a bouncer say. 

"He said 'Where were you guys before this?'. I'm like 'What? Dad? What?' What the fuck, who's this guy? 

"The weirdest part, I was with an Australian person, he was like 'Yeah we were over at the other bar.' Stop telling this narc where we were, dude. What place would we have been where he would have said 'No, you can't come in, lockout rules.'"

After fielding an answer from the crowd as to why we have the laws he came to the same conclusion we all have: they are bullshit.

But no matter his slander of our absolutely fuck off terrible laws, our boy Hannibal delivered a bloody incred show. Killed it.