Ahh, the Northern Beaches of Sydney. Generally not as insanely rich as their North Shore neighbours but still somehow vastly whiter, the battlers of the Manly-Pittwater peninsula occupy a uniquely suburban slice of the harbour city.

Whilst news making its way out of the self-proclaimed "God's Country" generally consists of pictures of children forced to hold signs protesting against development plans their tiny minds have no way of comprehending or people named Bruce complaining about blow-ins using council beach parking spots, 2017 brings us an unprecedentedly titillating Northern Beaches yarn involving guerilla warfare, vandalism and god damn mother fucking boats son!

Disclaimer: this story contains zero hoes.

Local rag The Manly Daily has reported this morning on the sudden spike in activity in the ongoing War On Boats taking place up north, with two dinghies flipped from their parked trailers and on to the middle of busy roads in the span of one week.

Police are pointing the fingers at residents who are up in arms about precious parking spots being taken up by lengthy boats and trailers, which spend months, and even years at a time on the sides of heavily used streets.

One of the flipped trailers on Pittwater Rd, Mona Vale.

Previous tactics employed by this guerilla army of Northern Beaches justice-seekers include the slashing of trailer tires (The MD reports that over 20 were slashed in one suburb in 2016 alone), and affixing signs to offending water-crafts that say "Free Boat", in the hopes someone will just straight up nick it, which, to be honest, is pretty damn savvy/hilarious.

Cops and the Northern Beaches Council have condemned the vigilante approach of its citizens, reminding locals there are methods in which to report trailers, boats and caravans that overstay the official 28-day limit on parking.

Calm ya farm denizens of the beautiful NB, the extra two minute walk from your car won't kill you.

Source: The Manly Daily
Photo: Bill Ditmarsh