It looks like UK porn is about to get a whole lot more boring, with the House of Commons today passing a law banning a huge list of sex acts for online porn and, additionally, adding a requirement for all UK porn sites to carry an extra age verification process for every Brit looking to get their jollies on the web.

The laws mean that commercial porn providers won't be able to put anything up on the web which couldn't be sold legally on DVD, which should have a big impact on people that are very patriotic about what websites they're getting their porn from.

While there aren't strict guidelines as to what porn providers can and can't show, they will have to comply with the very strict requirements for R18 classification, which rules out things like female ejaculation, menstrual blood, digital penetration with more than four fingers (fisting, they mean no fisting), any spanking which leaves a mark and any sex acts in public.


The Digital Economy Bill has received criticism from the porn industry (because, well, duh), but also from security experts who say that forcing people to sign up for the age verification system leaves a very juicy target for hackers, who would probably be pretty interested in finding out who has been watching nurse urination threesomes or whatever.

This won't have an impact on people using foreign streaming websites like PornHub, but I bet the 0.1% of people that are paying for local, home-grown porn are reeeaaal pissed about it.


This is also a great time to remind you that former prime minister John Howard does not believe squirting is real. Cheers.

Source: The Independent.