Melbourne Oldies In An Absolutely Tizzy Over A Poster With A Swear On It
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I imagine being a grumpy old bugger would be pretty sweet, actually. Filling your days with complaining about lazy millennials, hoarding all the country's property and wealth, and doing an occasional bit of cloud-yelling sounds like a wonderful way to live.
And what finer example of the joys awaiting us in the next 30 to 50 years than Rob, a Melbourne resident who spotted a poster on the streets of Brunswick that he did not like one little bit.
Was he content with tut-tutting, hurrying some school kids out of eyeshot or notifying his local priest? No, of course not. He called local radio station 3AW and got his outrage a platform, gosh darn it.
The poster in question was spruiking the launch of excellent independent music mag Swampland's second issue, featuring a lineup with locals Marcus Whale, Biscotti, Emlyn Johnson and... Spike Fuck.
Rob isn't happy about that, mates! He didn't leave the house today to clap eyes on flagrant swears where kiddies and old ladies can see 'em. He's dismayed that the City of Melbourne appears to have something to do with the show (the logo is on the poster down the bottom there), as we all know that city councils' number one priority is keeping the streets free from nasty, dirty, slatternly language. He's not entirely sure what long-form music journalism is supposed to be.
He's also apparently unable to entertain the idea that extremely talented artist Spike Fuck's number one priority might not actually be trying to get up the noses of Baby Boomers, considering that he said to 3AW's Neil Mitchell:
"I know the hipsters do it to annoy us but this provocative language is unacceptable."
Listen to the entire pearl-clutching segment here:
C'mon, Robbo. Even hoity-toity olde worlde Melbourne types are Australians, and swearing is basically the bedrock of our entire ridiculous culture.
In fact, I reckon it'd be more shocking if there wasn't at least one band called Spike Fuck, or Suss Cunts, or Collapse Toilet Vietnam on a Brunswick bill.
Face it, Bobby: getting your Lowes trunks in a twist over a swear word isn't just prudish. It's un-Australian.
Image: Twitter / @SwamplandMag.