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In some alternate Universe Orlando Bloom and Br"it" girl Agyness Deyn are husband and wife. During the day they have hilarious cream pie fights and by night they play with sparklers while jokingly applying makeup to their forever grinning faces. It's such a blast, it's like shenanigans 24/7. In this alternate Universe they're friends are like "I wonder what zaniness Agy-lando have in store today? Remember that time they tied themselves to a tree with tinsel and started singing Bob Dylan songs...that was wild". But really, it wasn't.
In this alternate Universe they're everyone's favourite couple and the only time they're apart is when Orlando is chilling with the dogs and Agyness is taking to garden work in snakeskin tights. Because in this alternate Universe people take to garden work in snakeskin tights ALL THE TIME.
If this sounds like heaven, the strange thing is this: such an alternate Universe really does exist. It's not a glitch in The Matrix or the infinite plains of existence - it's a little thing called Chinese advertising. Enlisted by Chinese label "Me & City" and photographed by Terry Richardson, Orlando "Mr. Kerr" Bloom and Agyness Deyn portray the type of celebrity couple who laugh at Keyboard Cats and love each other very much. It's resoundingly unconvincing but kinda fun to imagine.
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